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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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January 2006 . : On My Perch at Night, I'm Reading A Book On My Kindle: .
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008OVER & OVER & OVER AGAINSeveral weeks ago, Hubs & I decided that Grandma was capable of taking the necessary pain medication herself. She also takes other medication - for cholestrol control, high blood pressure & an aspirin to keep her blood thin - on a daily basis. Since having half her colon removed, she isn't allowed to become constipated. If her tummy hasn't 'worked' after 2 days, she has to have a liquid laxative. I honestly couldn't tell you the amount of times I've asked her if her tummy has worked. She KNOWS how important it is. Initially, I doled out her meds daily, but as she got stronger (physically) I felt she would be able to take the stuff for herself. This situation went well for a while & then it was as if overnight, she'd been visited by the Village Idiot Fairy. She would come to me, holding her tummy & say "Can I have a pain pill please, I'm right sore." & I'd reply "but YOU have the pills Flowerpot, not me!" She'd scuttle off back to her room & take the necessary pain pill & all would be fine, until the following day, when I'd have a repeat performance. The same scenario would play out on an almost daily basis & it got so frustrating that I spat my dummy one day & shouted "Dya want me to write it on the fucking walls grandma? I haven't got the pills - YOU have!" Not so long ago, she took a whole strip (10) of pain pills within the course of a few hours. By early evening, I actually thought she was pissed, but thought it was strange as she hadn't had a drink. I only found out about almost overdosing when she came to ask me (yet again) for pain pills. She didn't remember taking them & swore blind that she hadn't had any since the previous week. From that day on, I took full control of every single sodding pill she has to take & I've put the 'muti' box on the top shelf of a cupboard, where I know she can't reach. She now has a little grey medicine pot, which I fill for her once a day. In it, she gets her cholestrol tablet, her aspirin, her BP pill & one painkiller for every 6hrs of the day. At night, she puts her pot on the kitchen counter for a refill for the following day. Despite getting into a little routine with her little grey pot, she will still come to me & ask me for a pain pill. I'll tell her in a matter of fact voice, that she has her pot............."remember Flowerpot?" & she'll say "Oh yes, of course I do!" then scuttle back into her room (pit) to find her pill. Yesterday, she was very sore, so I gave her extra pills & by the evening, she was no longer in pain. Some days - today is actually a good example - I could literally just sit down & cry. She came into the kitchen, clutching her tummy & quietly groaning. "Grandma, wassup, why are you holding your tummy?" "I'm sore" she said. "But why are you sore Flowerpot, what have you done?" I asked "Nothing..................but my tummy hasn't worked for a week" For the love of Gawd Almighty, I could've chucked her off the bloody balcony (again!). I gave her a good telling off, which was swiftly followed by a dose of her laxative. Next up was a pitiful whine of "Well I didn't know............................" I guess I'm tired. Hubs has had malaria, followed by flu & I've caught the flu from him, so we're both knackered. I love my perch at night & can normally sleep for 9-10hrs without a hitch, but for the last week or so, for whatever reason, I cannot sleep. I toss & turn, fidget & wriggle & eventually get about 5hrs sleep if I'm lucky. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated, but it's no ones fault. I keep telling myself, over & over again - it shouldn't have to be like this. Grandma is the most loveable & generous woman - she would give you her last ten cents or last breath if she felt it would help you in some way. She just doesn't deserve to have to be like this.  
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