JAYNE WITH A WHY


My life has endured some drastic changes over the past 5yrs. I've moved continents, moved countries, lost my partner in life, lost my dogs, lost the bikes & no doubt about it, lost more than a few marbles along the way. I'm fucked up but valiantly fighting off sanity, which snaps at my heels at regular intervals. I swear a lot. Tell someone who cares.

Monday, January 14, 2008

PUNTIFICATING

PUN-TIFICATING:

We'll never run out of maths teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.

The maths professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD .
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Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
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Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
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You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.
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Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
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There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
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You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
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You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
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You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
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Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
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Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
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You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
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Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
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And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
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Many thanks to Jo for sending me that Shit!

Posted by Jayne :: 08:22 :: 5 Had Somminc To Say

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