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Wednesday, May 16, 2007STRANGE PEOPLE I'VE DEALT WITH - THE P S Y C H OWell, not so long ago I did a post about some of the strange people I've had dealings with. One of them is referred to by me & a couple of other people as The Psycho. Before deciding to write about this, I felt it only right that I e-mail my good friend J & get her blessing for the story, because after all, she is the primary focus of what happened with The Psycho. On the understanding that no names would be mentioned, she gave me the go ahead to tell the story. Does anyone remember the earlier days of internet chatting? I'm talking almost ten years ago, when internet chat rooms were fun. Once we got into the swing of things, with nicknames & avatars, we'd chat freely about anything under the sun. Pop ups of "A/S/L?" by unknowns or anonymous twits were given the standard "Ancient/No I have a headache/My study" answers. Friendships were slowly built up, with people from nearby towns to different continents. On the whole, it was good, clean fun. Sure, there were innocent flirtations, but they were just that - innocent. Myself & J had several online friendships with the same people, who shared the same general interests as ourselves. We both came across a couple of frequent 'chatters' who had made the mistake of falling hook, line & sinker for a person of the opposite sex, who'd promised the sun, moon & earth. Meanwhile, back in the real world, they messed up big time, by running away to what can only be described as a fantasy. They were bitter people, who had been terribly hurt by the false promises on offer in the world of 'chat rooms'. Somewhere along the line, J struck up a friendship with The Psycho. He was very clever really, because in his own devious ways, he managed to elicit information out of J, which would otherwise not have been forthcoming. He was 'very religious', 'happily married', had a couple of kids, his own business etc. etc. - pretty much the same in so many ways as J. She gave him her phone number. Initially, the friendship remained just that. The odd call was made & no one sweat the small stuff. Then things started taking a twisted turn. J couldn't go online without being tracked, one way or another. If her home phone number was engaged, The Psycho would call on her cell phone, wanting to know who she was talking to. If she made a call to me (and I only lived about 150m from her house) The Psycho would know. He started following her, wherever she went. He knew where she lived, where she worked, where her kids went to school, where she'd been at any particular time & who she'd seen. In the beginning, the interest shown in her was flattering, but it didn't take too long for it to become a worry. If I chatted to J online, The Psycho would track us down & asked what we were discussing. His paranoia was very evident. I frequently told him to make a sexual departure. I spoke at length to J & asked to her to please get shot of this person, because his behaviour was becoming totally obsessive. She told him to back off & he would, for a few days & then it'd start all over again. He somehow managed to persuade J to meet him time & time again. She assured me nothing happened between them & I believed her, but I could see this 'friendship' was heading down a one way track. The Psycho ingratiated himself into the life of her family, by using 'business contacts' to boost his need to be around. In short, he mastered the art of a perfect stalker. He knew where J was at all hours of the day or night. He knew where her husband was & where her children were. He managed to get her phone records & even went to the extent of phoning her dialled up numbers, to see whom she was calling. He managed to worm his way into her house when she wasn't there, but her kids were. If that wasn't a red rag to a bull warning sign that this man was not right in the head, then I don't know what was. The Psycho threatened me to stay away from J. I think he was not only envious of our good friendship, but also scared that she would listen to me & stop seeing him. He knew when I went to her house, or if she came to mine. He knew I'd told her she was asking for trouble by not putting a stop to their friendship & he told me to be very careful, because he had friends in 'high places'. I wasn't scared, but I was bloody annoyed by his constant paranoia. Hubs was working in West Africa at the time & knew very little about what was going on, but The Psycho pushed my button one too many times when my son caught him peering over our six foot wall, with a pair of binoculars in hand. The Psycho ducked before anything could be done. I got hold of J & told her in no uncertain terms that enough is enough......she had to tell him to keep the hell away from me & my family, otherwise I would take the law into my own hands. My friendship of some ten or more years with her was at stake & I was furious that The Psycho could have the audacity to start spying on me or my family. I got his phone number from J & I told Hubs about it. At this point, I'd just like to mention, that yes it may be nice to have friends in 'high places'. But do you know what's even better? Having friends in low places. One phone call from Hubs put a marker on Mr Psycho. One step out of line regarding me or my family & he'd be in a spot of bother, probably trying to get the concrete boots off as he drowned in a nearby lake. * Sadly, one thing led to another & J was virtually blackmailed into having sex with The Psycho. I know it takes two to tango & I'm not offering any excuses for J. She knew my feelings on the matter at the time, but for whatever reason, she had to learn the lesson herself. So, after 'it' happened, our not so friendly Psycho had an even bigger emotional hold over her. He plagued her with phone calls & 'innocent' visits to her work & gave her regular run downs on how he knew where she'd been, at what time & with whom. He threatened her regularly with the usual "if you don't meet I'll just have to tell your husband" crap. It wore J out. She'd knew she'd let herself get into the mess & she was fully aware of the devastation it could cause. She wasn't a strong enough person, despite her best efforts, to call his bluff or to just finish the relationship. She became a nervous wreck & our friendship took the biggest battering possible. I actually don't know what J snap, but one day, finally, after all the threats, she decided enough was more than enough. Her husband knew something was wrong, but couldn't pinpoint it. One morning, after yet another verbal threat session from The Psycho, she phoned her husband at work & said he had to come home, as there was something she needed to tell him. It was urgent & it could not wait. What followed was not nice, by any stretch of the imagination. Two lives that had been in a sometimes turbulent, but otherwise 'normal' partnership for many years were temporarily shattered. After the questions, the trauma & the tears, J's husband phoned The Psycho. He was told to never get within spitting distance of his family or to ever even think about phoning his wife again. If he wanted to live to see tomorrow, he would do as he was told & never, ever, under ANY circumstances, get in touch with J again. The next thing J's husband did was phone The Psycho's wife & inform her of what had happened. To my mind, The Psycho got off lightly. I'm not a violent person, but I'm afraid he was one of the exceptions, where I truly wished something horribly violent would happen to him. Fast forward nearly ten years & thankfully, J & her husband are not only still together, but they're happy as well. With the right help, their faith & their past together, they managed to hold on to their marriage. I don't know what happened to The Psycho & I really don't care. With me living in so many different countries, it's been difficult to stay in regular contact with J, but we do stay in touch & I do still think of her as a very good friend. We've had many a laugh together & many a tear shared as well, but that's what friends are all about hey? . . *A colleague of Hubs was also a part-time contractor of a different kind. I didn't know about his extra 'activities' until after the Psycho had done a runner, but for a reasonable fee, the colleague would hurt/maim/injure as required. The Psycho was made aware of this.  
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