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Tuesday, March 18, 2008MAD MAD WORLDA cartoon showing squirrels hanging themselves and throwing themselves in front of cars has angered Romanian broadcasting authorities because they have no power to ban it. The country's regulatory body said it would make an official protest to the European Commission about the one-minute cartoon shown every afternoon on the British-licensed channel AXN. The cartoon, called Suicidal Squirrels, does not come under their remit because the station is based in another country. . Who the fuck came up with the idea that suicidal squirrels would be funny for kids?? HUMANS will soon be having sex with robots, a top scientist claims. Half the population will copulate with sex machines, and many will even MARRY them if it’s legal, says artificial intelligence expert David Levy. Within 40 years the hot bots’ bodies, faces and voices will be so lifelike people will barely tell the difference, he reckons. And they could provide pleasure for millions of people too shy or too ugly to find love. Mr Levy, 62, said: “It will be very good for society – great sex on tap 24/7. I’d certainly want to experience sex with such a robot – and I’m happily married!” The idea struck him as he designed voices for computer games. Japanese boffins already make robots that care for the elderly, and sex-bots are the next logical step, he says. Latest porn films could include C-3P Oh! Oh! Oh! and Sperminator. . Hmmmm...........so this bloke could shag a robot, then shag his wife & barely be able to tell the difference. Right! I wonder what his "happily married" wife thinks of that? A judge jailed everyone in an entire courtroom after no one admitted to being the owner of a ringing mobile. Judge Robert Restaino was hearing domestic violence cases when a phone rang. “Everyone is going to jail,” the judge said. “Every single person is gong to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now. If anybody believes I’m kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going.” When no one came forward, the judge ordered the group into custody and they were taken by police to the city jail, where they were searched and packed into crowded cells. Fourteen people who could not post bail were shackled and bused to the Niagara County Jail, a 30-minute drive away. He released them later in the afternoon, after being told reporters were interested in the story. He has now been removed from the bench. . This judge deserves a medal rather than being removed from the bench! In 2004, Timothy Dumouchel, from Fond du Lac, Wisconsin sued a television company for making his wife fat and transforming his children into “lazy channel surfers”. He said: “I believe the reason I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched the TV everyday for the last four years”. The case kept at least two of America’s then 1,058,662 lawyers occupied for a while, but did not go to the Supreme Court. Like everyone in the family was FORCED to watch TV?? Dipshit. In 2005, the Massachusetts Appeals Court was asked to rule on when a sexual technique was dangerous. Early one morning, a man and woman in a long-term relationship were engaged in consensual intercourse. During the passionate event, and, without the man’s consent, the woman suddenly manoeuvred herself in a way that caused him to suffer a penile fracture. Emergency surgery was required. The court ruled that while “reckless” sexual conduct may be actionable, “merely negligent” conduct was not. It dismissed the man’s case. Hmmmm.........there's a lot to be said for the 'missionary'position............*coff* Sentencing a young woman at the Magistrates’ Court in Port Adelaide, Australia, in 2003, a magistrate said: “You’re a druggie and you’ll die in the gutter. That’s your choice... I don’t believe in that social worker crap. You abuse your mother and cause her pain. You can choose to be who you are. You can go to work. Seven million of us do it whilst fourteen million like you sit at home watching Days of Our Lives smoking your crack pipes and using needles and I’m sick of you sucking us dry”. He then concluded: “It’s your choice to be a junkie and die in the gutter. No one gives a shit, but you’re going to kill that woman who is your mother, damn you to death.” He gave the woman a prison sentence, unaware that that was unlawful in the type of case in question. Her appeal was successful. I bet the magistrate felt a whole heap better for having spat his dummy!  
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