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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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Saturday, August 19, 2006.............AND ON A LIGHTER NOTEA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!" "That must've been scary", said the teacher. "It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three blondes had a very late night out drinking. They went their separate ways in the early morning hours and went home. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was more drunk the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door I blew chunks for 10 minutes." The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!" The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!" The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behaviour. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.  
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