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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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Sunday, May 23, 2010OH TO BE A DOCTOR & WHAT HAS TO BE THE BEST RETORT EVER! First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor began the lecture by telling them: "In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention." Wicked! Sincere thanks to Harley biker bud George for that one :-) A classic, if not truly brilliant retort!  This is allegedly a true story. An Irishman was just finishing up at work, when his wife phoned. It was their 15th wedding anniversary & she would be making a really special dinner for him that evening. She asked her husband to please stop at a particular shop on his way home from work & buy a small can of escargot. The dutiful husband stopped as requested & bought the escargot, but whilst he was in the shop, he ran into a friend & they got chatting. He explained that it was a special day - his 15th wedding anniversary - and his wife was cooking him a special dinner. After much begging, the friend managed to persuade the Irishman to join him for a quick drink at a nearby pub. He met many other friends at the pub, who upon hearing he would be celebrating his wedding anniversary, all bought him drinks. The hours flew by & next thing he knew, it was nearly midnight! He thanked his friends for all their good cheer & swiftly made his way home. He knew he'd be deep in shit with his wife, so he had to think up a good excuse. He opened the can of escargot & lined the little snails up on the path leading up to the front door. Without further ado, he knocked on the door & stood back.................. The door opened & his wife stood there, stony faced................until He said "C'mon you little buggers, you've only a couple more yards to go!" With sincere thanks to Rob via Hubs, who had me in stitches!  
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