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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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NEW LIFE . : Archives : .
January 2006 . : On My Perch at Night, I'm Reading A Book On My Kindle: .
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. : motley assortment of blogs from other parts of the multiverse : .
. : MY FAMILY MOTTO: FUCK 'EM ALL EXCEPT US: .
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Template By Caz . : email: spadgesmum at gmail dot com .
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Sunday, March 29, 2009SIX FINGS INNIT I was recently tagged by the incorrigible Jimmy Bastard. It's taken me a coupla weeks to get around to pulling myself towards myself, but here y'all go - Six Fings of Total Irrelevance About some dumb blonde who resides in a dusty corner of the Sandpit. 1) Put the link of the person who tagged you on your blog. 2) Write the rules. 3) Mention 6 things or habits of no real importance about you. 4) Tag 6 persons adding their links directly. 5) Alert the persons that you tagged them. 1) I like going out incognito. It's fun pushing my shopping trolley into other shoppers ankles, closing the lift doors on other folk just as they enter & swearing in Zulu to local ferals. An added bonus (of course) is that my arse doesn't look fat in my abaya.................it's every girls Little Black Dress innit!  2) The contents of my handbag are off-limits to anyone other than myself, unless a 35 page legal disclaimer against bodily harm being inflicted is signed by anyone daft enough who wants to root around. I use one (mainly neutral colour) handbag at a time & until it wears out. I can't be arsed to keep switching the contents between various clothing co-ordinated bags. Utter bollocks.  3) The only time my wedding, engagement & eternity rings come off is when I have to go into an operating theatre & even then, I'll try to get away with wearing a plaster that covers them. They're welded together & shaped to my finger, which is how they should be.  4) I have the co-ordination of a spastic - I'm fucking hopeless really. If you throw me a ball to catch I can guarantee I'll miss it, but not for want of trying. I tried learning how to play golf, but the actual configuration of holding a golf bat in a certain way, keeping my head still then swinging my body - complete with bat - to hit a little white ball in front of my feet was just too much for my sludge to cope with. I do enjoy the walk though. I have no idea or sense of direction if I'm in a strange town or city. I hurl abuse at the nice lady hiding in the GPS, who tells me to "turn right at next exit" when there is no fucking right, you silly bitch! 5) I have a couple of borderline OCD tendencies. The manufacturer or washing instruction label on the edge of the duvet/comforter for the bed HAS to go on the bottom/at the end of the bed, otherwise I'll never sleep. All coathangers in the wardrobes have to face the same way.  6) After a brief interlude of not being able to think of anything else you may (or may) not want to know about this dumb blonde, I decided to dredge up THIS. It might fill in a few gaps. Now it's up to the following 6 peeps to open up & say ahhhhh:  
Wednesday, March 25, 2009THE PLEASURE & THE PAINAhhh, the pleasure! Despite my (unspoken) fears of causing another tsunami, I took the plunge & had several dunks in the 'No Ferals Allowed' (<-- read kids/brats) pool at the Chedi. The setting of the whole resort is simply stunning, but I have to admit that the thought behind the 'grown ups' policy really made our stay one to remember. Don't get me wrong - I love kids - or should I say I love well behaved children, the latter being a rarity in the Sandpit.  So, it was a pleasure not to having unruly little people disturbing our much needed time-out in tranquility. I think every other guest staying there appreciated exactly the same thing - pure peace & quiet. The most noise I heard was the gentle rolling of the waves or the rustle of turning a newspaper page. Pure bliss. We both had Balinese massages, which were incredible. It never ceases to amaze me how a dinky little woman weighing no more than 28kg (soaking wet) can apply the pressure of a herd of rampaging buffalo to various parts of an aching body! The food was totally divine - terribly nouveau in appearance - but ample in portion size. Hubs feasted on things like duck ravioli, stuffed soft-shell crab & the most tender slab of cow meat I've seen in years. I stuck to my usual chicken or prawn dishes, all of which were rather yummy, although I have to admit that Hubs' Friday curries have been by far superior to the one I had on Saturday night!  Whilst lazing (like a beached whale) by the pool, I ordered several cups of capuccino, which always came with a little dish of handmade biscuits & a cinnamon stick coated in crystalized brown sugar. I'd dunk the stick in the capuccino foam & then suck it off - what a pleasure! I hasten to add that I did NOT slurp or make any obscene gestures with it (whilst in my mouth) - I was on my best behaviour remember!  The pain part of this post comes in now - pain caused by both of us checking the back of our respective eyelids. We were all for grabbing every available opportunity to take 40 winks, in between rushing around having breakfast/lunch/swimming/massages/etc (just rush, rush, rush I tell ya!) but unfortunately one snatched 40 winks too many & you wake up looking like freshly slivered smoked salmon - complete with blue eyes. Ahem. Hubs stayed in the shade the whole time & still got terrid sunburn on his tummy - eeeek - sore! Yours truly flaked out in the sun on Saturday & woke up with shins that look like someone secretly took a meat tenderiser to them. My pins haven't seen the sun for a long time, thanks to mainly wearing jeans, so it was if the sun took a look at me & thought "yeah, sucker!". I am suffering, albeit quietly. (We're both now past the stage of saying "Don't Touch Me!" through clenched teeth). Other parts of my bod took a battering as well, but I won't show you the results for fear of giving y'all nighmares. There's pink wobbly bits that even scare me........... . . We arrived back in the Sandpit relaxed & refreshed. . It didn't last long. . Within an hour, Hubs was told the project he's been working so hard on, has been cancelled. . The Client doesn't have any money. (Why put the fucking project out to tender in the first place then, you bunch of fucking egotistical, lying, deceitful wankers?) . . . I have no idea what our future holds.
Labels: phallic cinamon sticks and pink wobbly bits, ThanksMore Property Developers, The Chedi Muscat
Wednesday, March 18, 2009BEST BEHAVIOUR  Quick update: Parents loved Abu Dhabi (bless 'em) & had what they called a 'holiday of a lifetime'. As you can see by the photos, Dubs had a fab ride on Tallulah & dad made it clear that Dubs would be leaving empty-handed from the gold souq. They did take several goodies home with them though & hopefully a whole heap of good memories about The Sandpit. I miss them. Today, dad is having the first of 2 cataract operations, so I'm a bit worried & find myself jumping every time the Dingleberry beeps. He'll be OK.............................I know he will. (It doesn't stop me worrying though.) Tomorrow morning, Hubs & myself are leaving for a much needed long weekend away. Hubs has been working flat out in his new job & he's taken enough strain to last for years. Whilst corporations discuss whether they can survive by only making a couple of billion dirhams in obscene profits on the project Hubs is involved with, we shall be chilling out here. .  The most energetic thing on the agenda is to take leisurely & frequent dips in the pool, read a couple of good books & enjoy some quality time with my partner in life, albeit in a terribly posh environment. (I'll be on my best behaviour, so I might have to say phuck should the need to swear arise) Readers are most welcome to envy me, but keep the hate mail to a minimum please! Labels: great granny rides a Harley, The Chedi Muscat
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