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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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Thursday, January 31, 2008ME, MYSELF, I & THE BIRD WITH SPIKY RED HAIRI like having fun with clothing. I don't get dolled up very often, but when I do, I'll no doubt spend a heap on an outfit & only wear it on extremely limited occasions. I'm well happy nowadays, wearing jeans & a t-shirt. If I go out with Hubs on the bike, I'll stick my leather waistcoat on & feel like a 16yr old again. So, normal gear for me is something like this:  On the other hand, I love wearing a kaftan. This one is about 8yrs old now & is like me, looking tired(!) but it's still a favourite. Sadly, my other kaftans from Ghana & Kenya are literally wearing out, so I treated myself whilst at home last year & had this one made. Kaftans cover all lumps & bumps & spare tyres fade into natural folds in the material - what a pleasure!  Late last year, my incredibly mad friend Kaya invited me to accompany her to a rather lavish affair at a royal residence (palace) here in Abu Dhabi. (Now that the dust has settled, I might get around to blogging about our 'royal' night out!) The stipulated theme on the invitation to this bash was 'Indian', which meant I had to dress accordingly. Kaya very kindly leant me one of her sari's.................and over the course of about half an hour tucked, pushed, pulled & pinned the garment into place. The result of which is this: Finally, one of my all time favourite items of clothing is my abaya! The Ultimate in LBD's (Little Black Dresses) - it covers everything & black is such an easy colour to accessorise *chuckle*. I can put it on over a pair of shorts/tatty kaftan/pyjamas etc & no one will know. What a pleasure. I wear the niqab on a bad hair day or if I want to go somewhere & not be recognised, which is great................................until I start talking - ooops!  
Wednesday, January 30, 2008GO AHEAD, MAKE HIS DAY!Date : 29th January 2008 - approximately 5.45pm Place: Small 'side' road, between Electra Street & Madinat Zayed Shopping Centre. Setting : Mike on his way home from work. The Five O'clock Freak Out is in full force. Traffic was backed up from the entrance to this road, from 4th street. This is mainly due to numerous cars wanting to park in a carpark where there are no obvious spaces, but people will back-up traffic & block the road trying to get in anyway. (There's probably a hundred spaces available in MadZat carpark, but that means walking an extra ten metres & gawd forbid, we can't have that can we!) The opposite direction of the road is free of traffic, apart from Mike. Suddenly a Landcruiser pulls out of the queue of traffic & takes off, heading straight for Mike. Sed Landcruiser driver flashes his lights, probably implying that Mike must 'move' in order to let him pass. (Remember the Landcruiser is now in the wrong lane & travelling in the wrong direction). Our portly red & white check-cloth-headed Landcrusier driver has a choice. Either he causes an accident, or he stops. He chose the latter. He then lowers his blacked out drivers window & SHOUTS at Mike: "Get out of the fucking way!" "Learn to drive like a civilised human being!" my husband replied. "Fuck you!!" shouts the twat. Mike refused to move & this complete arsehole then forced his way back into the line of traffic, amidst blaring horns & much gesticulating from other drivers. You ALWAYS get one don'tcha? Several people have asked me, since buying the 'Glide (hereafter known as Tallulah-Blue, cos I named her!) (it's a female thing OK?) when I'm going to start riding. Well, in all honesty, it's taken me 2yrs to pluck up the courage to drive the car. I've never driven in a 'left-hand drive' country before & my co-ordination sucks. Driving in a metal cage is vastly different to riding a bike. But, I have my plan of attack in place. I WILL get to ride my bike one day, but I've also told myself that I'd better go for anger management classes before I hit the highways & byways, because it that had been me yesterday, faced with this dipshit, I would have climbed off the bike and.......................................................... Use your imagination. 'Nuff said.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008COUNTDOWNNow lissen up folks, over the next six days, I'm going to need HEAPS.............probably mega HEAPS in fact, of psychological support. I might even need physical support as well come to think of it, because this Thing is gonna hit me....................... 
My countdown has started in earnest.
I am clinging to the remnants of my forties............................*sniff*
I'm a woman, so I'm entitled to get a bit jittery about hitting the half-century mark! (It's different for men innit?) So, start counting - I've only got SIX more sleeps!
Sunday, January 27, 2008THROW ME A BONE HERE!Hubs & myself want to get away for a week, towards the end of February. We would like to go somewhere where we can chill - moreso for Hubs than me. He's the one who takes the majority of strain. So, c'mon folks..........................how about some suggestions of where to go hey? Preferences include: Beach or lake/river/water Not more than 4hrs flying time from Abu Dhabi or Dubai Somewhere that offers a little bit of interest - i.e. historical site(s) etc. Must be 5 Star accommodation (we don't slum it unless we have to) Preferably warm climate Somewhere that doesn't recommend little monsters who wobble their heads/scream/demand attention or have a maid walking in their shadow just to wipe their arses............ . Over to you then! Let's have some ideas! . If you weigh less than 4.5kg & have extremely flexible limbs, I will certainly consider packing you in my suitcase.
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!" She had a small metal box with her; she went over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband!" The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'' "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it!!"
Thursday, January 24, 2008OH TO BE TEFLON COATEDAs regular readers are aware, not so long ago THIS pissed on my battery . I tend to think of him/her as an inconsiderate person, who happened to park his/her car with little or no consideration to other users of the same carpark. This person did the same thing yet again, just a few days ago, but, in my opinion, he was even more careless. He showed the same arrogance as before - simply pulled into an empty space - next to where we park the bikes - & again, left the rear end of his car across our slot. Again, it was a display of a blatant lack of consideration for other people. Again, it pissed on my battery. I wrote the somewhat scathing post of Why Is It? because in all honesty, I'm gatvol of having to cowtow to fcukwits like this. I typed out a note, which I put under his windscreen wiper. The note read (and yes, it was in capital letters, but that was only for clarity): PLEASE NOTE THAT MY MOTORCYCLES ARE PARKED WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE PARKING SPACE, AS INDICATED BY THE WHITE LINES. I PAY FOR A PARKING SPACE IN THIS CARPARK AND AM FULLY ENTITLED TO PARK MY MOTORCYCLES HERE.YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO PARK ACROSS 2 PARKING SPACES. THIS SHOWS IGNORANCE & SELFISHNESS TOWARDS OTHER USERS OF THIS CARPARK. KINDLY PARK YOUR CAR WITHIN THE LINES! Despite the temptation, I did not swear. As far as I'm concerned - and I hasten to add that I got a legally qualified person to check this note - I merely pointed out that by parking haphazardly across 2 spaces, that this person was being inconsiderate. Y'know what? I got a letter in reply today. And d'ya know what else? It's MY FAULT!!!!!!!! Yep, I'm in the wrong. The bikes are parked up, within the confines of the allocated space, but according to this person, I'm at fault. I'm assuming this person bought his/her PhD in Clinical Psychology off the back of paw-paw truck, because he has taken the time to psycho-analyse me as well. He/She states: "Thank you for your kind note left for me yesterday. Firstly, to demand every inch of your parking space not only suggests an egocentric character but also demonstrates a juvenile, belligerent and possessive nature." Um, hang on a sec...............where did I demand? Someone, please, point it out to me - where in my note did I demand? Never in my life have I ever been described as egocentric & for someone to make such an assumption without so much as ever having spoken to me is nothing short of ludicrous. The same applies to me supposedly being belligerent & possessive. An alternative of 'belligerent' is argumentative, aggressive or confrontational. If I was either of those two words, I would've done something -i.e. damaged the car - then waited for the confrontation. As for being possessive - yes I am.................possessive over more than Dhs200,000 worth of motorcycles that have taken a lifetime to acquire. I'll be stuffed if I will ask for forgivenes in feeling possessive over the bikes. The letter continues: "Secondly, the reason I encroached on your precious tarmac was to allow the other users of the carpark - paying members just like you and I - access to their own vehicles, not, as you suggest, out of ignorance or selfishness; quite the contrary." I did in fact take more photos - of this latest incident. If you can picture a line of parking spaces, they show the bikes parked normally, the 'offending' car parked across 2 spaces & a 3rd car, parked within the confines of the next space. *frown* The only vehicle not parked in an orderly manner belonged to the letter writer, who admits quote; 'I encroached on your precious tarmac'. The following paragraph states: "Ignorance is the failure to understand. Please try to understand that other people pay for the same parking privilege as you and that sometimes we have to accommodate people rather than offend or hinder them." Somehow I hear the pot calling the kettle black around about here! Is this person suggesting that I must accommodate him/her & not offend or hinder him/her? Wait small...........I park correctly remember....................no, no, no...................silly me......................I'm at fault! He/She continues: "Please consult your own photo (I can't believe you felt it necessary to photograph this incident) and then suggest to me how I could have remained within my own lines without the same problem occuring to other drivers." Ummm, well, according to the photos, I actually CAN'T understand why it was so difficult for you to park in a normal fashion. A vacant space was available, between the bikes & the next car. You chose to park as you did.   My reason for taking photos is primarily in case of damage, whether it be intentional or accidental. In closing, the letter states: "What we pay for in this life and what we get are two entirely different things. That you expect everyone to fall within your 'white lines' is laughable. What we can't buy in this world is consideration for others; I suggest you think about this the next time you park your vehicle with the express intention to inconvenience others." Too true - I couldn't agree more...................what we pay for & what we get are two totally different things, but funnily enough, common courtesy & just a bit of consideration towards other vehicle owners cost absolutely nothing. Perhaps I am harping on a bit about this, but I genuinely don't understand how it is that I am inconveniencing YOU. The photos of how you park your car speak volumes.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008WHY IS IT?PLEASE NOTE THIS POST CONTAINS A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF SWEARING. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY MY BAD LANGUAGE, THEN I'D ADVISE YOU TO STOP READING NOW. MY QUESTIONS WHY IS IT YOU CANNOT GIVE WAY ? WHY IS IT YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOUR WAY INTO ANOTHER LANE AT AN INTERSECTION? WHY IS IT - INSTEAD OF FORCING YOUR WAY - YOU CANNOT TRAVEL ANOTHER 500M TO THE NEXT JUNCTION & DO A U-TURN? WHY IS IT THAT YOU AIM AT PEDESTRIANS ON A ZEBRA CROSSING, WHEN THEY HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY? WHY IS IT YOU INSIST ON TALKING ON YOUR MOBILE PHONE INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING ON YOUR DRIVING? WHY IS IT YOU HIDE YOUR IDENTITY BEHIND WINDOWS THAT ARE TINTED AT LEAST 70%? WHY IS IT THAT YOU PARK IN ALLOCATED TAXI RANKS? WHY IS IT YOU BLOCK PEDESTRIAN WALKWAYS & STAIRS, WHEN PARKING SPACES ARE AVAILABLE? WHY IS IT YOU PULL OUT INTO TRAFFIC (FROM A STATIONARY POSITION) WITHOUT LOOKING? WHY IS IT YOU SUDDENLY STOP - IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC - WITHOUT WARNING? WHY IS IT YOU ARE IN THE WRONG LANE TO DO A U-TURN AT A JUNCTION, BUT WILL FORCE YOURSELF IN ANYWAY? WHY IS IT YOU CANNOT PARK IN A DEMARCATED PARKING SPACE OR CANNOT PARK STRAIGHT? WHY IS IT YOU TRAVEL AT 80KMPH IN THE 'FAST' LANE OF A HIGHWAY? WHY IS IT YOU WEAVE IN & OUT OF 4 LANES OF TRAFFIC? WHY IS IT YOU ARE PREPARED TO KILL MY HUSBAND, MYSELF & MY FRIENDS? MY ANSWERS Because it's a loss of face. Give way, to another car or vehicle? Christ Almighty, you can't do that!You're fucking pathetic & what grates my tits even more about you're selfishness is that you expect ME to give way to you! Because you're too fucking arrogant & too fucking high & mighty in the self-importance department, that you automatically assume other drivers must let you in. Get in the right lane - you? God forbid! Drive another 500m? You must be fucking joking! Nah, it's so much easier to force others out of the way. You think you have the fucking RIGHT to force others to accommodate your arrogance. Because you fucking can, right? Even when the (pedestrian) traffic lights are green & a person is being pushed in a wheelchair, you still have the fucking audacity to blast your hooter & gesticulate that we get out of the way. Next time you do that to me you sad fucker, I'll be prepared. Because you can! Hey, who gives a shit if you head straight into a brick wall or drive off a bridge, cos you're too busy gabbing on a fucking cell phone? Not me! You're wife or family will cry & wail, but what the fuck, I'm sure that call was well worth giving your life hey? Because you're nothing short of moronically STUPID. Maybe you can't be 'identified' because all your vehicle's windows have been blacked out, but you can always be identified by your licence plate. If you're a woman, you probably have such a fucking high opinion of yourself that no-one else should be allowed to cast their eyes upon you. Catch a fuckin wake up darlin' - we don't want to look at you! It would be really nice if you could see further than the bonnet of your car, cos if that happens, you'll realise there are other drivers on the road! Male or female - you are NOT God & neither are you 'entitled' to anonimity. Because you're too fucking lazy to find a parking space. You need to go into a bank or shop, but fuck it, it is simply beyond your comprehension to actually LOOK for a parking space, especially when there's a taxi rank available. No matter that awaiting passengers or taxi drivers have to venture into the road to hail a taxi or collect a passenger. Fuck them, they're mere peasants right? Because you can! Why on earth should you be courteous or polite to other drivers? What a load of bollocks! You'd rather cause a traffic jam or an accident, just because you're too fucking lazy to look in your rearview mirror. Same as above - because you fucking well can!! It's really too much effort for you to actually park in a proper space, when it can save you a whole 5m of walking distance! Because you think that rearview & side mirrors are for checking your appearance. You probably stopped without warning, so why the fuck should other motorists be warned that you intend joining the traffic again! Which leads to the next point - you probably stop because you need to drop someone off/pick someone up/see the latest TV-car-designer gismo/advert for bedspace/rubber-neck at a person of the opposite sex so badly that you simply decide to fucking stop................................then wonder why you got smacked up the arse by some fuckwit driving with less than 30% visibility, thanks to their tinted windows. Same as No 2 on the list. Too fucking ignorant to get into the correct lane & take great pains at forcing other drivers off the road. Get pissed off don'tcha when you don't get your own way? (Hehehehehehehe...........) Why park properly when you can park at ANY angle hey? Cos you're too fucking lazy is why! Too lazy, too ignorant & too fucking arrogant to care about other people who would also like to park. You get your spot & fuck the rest of us right? Because normally, you're too busy gabbing on a fucking cell phone or having an animated conversation with a passenger! When did you last check to see if you were holding up traffic? You didn't, you areshole! Because you think you're going to get there faster right? Fucking wrong, you dipshit! Because you don't fucking THINK! You assume YOU have the ONLY right to the road. Well guess what pal, you fucking well don't. What makes you even more a snivelling, pathetic, half-witted waste of fucking space is that you cower behind hands clutched in prayer when you are confronted with your arrogance. Not so fucking tough now hey? Not so fucking cocky when someone confronts you? Your apologies are meaningless, to others & to yourself, because you don't give a shit. Why do you behave the way you do, behind the wheels of a seriously potential killing machine? You do it because you can. It's as simple as that - because you can. Well, the times they are a changing. Laws are changing. Attitudes are changing. Many, many motorists have had enough.
Saturday, January 19, 2008A MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT Many moons ago, I used to have The Curse. It was, in every sense of the word, a bloody curse.............and yes, there is a pun intended there. I started The Curse at a very young age - a mere 9yrs young & from the very first monthly visit until the very last, it was incredibly painful. It became a dread............my 'once a month' dread. In my early 20's, my doctor at the time, prescribed Syndol tablets for the extremely strong cramps I used to have. In those days, it was a prescription drug & not something you could just buy over the counter. Also, in 'those days' Hubs & myself were trying to hatch a sprog. I'd had plenty of problems with the 'points & plugs' in my reproductive engine, but in order to make sure the other part of the equasion was firing on all cylinders, Hubs had to have a sperm test. Whilst at the docs, I was given a prescription for Syndol & a letter of request for a sperm count for Hubs. A couple of weeks passed & Curse Day arrived. I was working at the time, but made a duck during a quiet spell & whizzed down to my local chemist. Stuart, the pharmacist, was a smashing chap. He was one of the 'old school' type of businessmen - he knew family members by their first names & always made a point to ask how every one was & what was the latest news etc. If he didn't have a particular drug in stock, he would get it from another pharmacy & then deliver it, a service that many working families appreciated. Anyway, I rushed down to Stuart the Chemist, went up to the counter, all hot & flustered & was greeted by a total stranger behind the dispensing counter! Stuart was on leave. Oh well, no worries I thought & promptly rummaged in my handbag for my prescription. I saw the Doctors names on a bit of paper & handed it to the locum pharmacist. "Umm, I'm in a hurry 'cos I've ducked out of work, so could I have this now please?" I asked. The locum looked at the prescription & then looked at me. He gave me a really strange look. It was the kind of look that says "Are you mad/for real/high on something?" I was really worried! The seconds were ticking by & I really had to get back to work! "Er, Mrs Winstanley, I'm terribly sorry, but I can't do this for you." says the locum. "But why not?" I whined. "Because Mrs Winstanley, I'm afraid this is a request for a sperm count & I'm very sorry, but I can't supply you with that!" This happened more than 22yrs ago & I can still remember the absolute clarity of wanting the ground to open & just swallow me whole. I snatched the offending bit of paper & left the chemist in such a hurry that I forgot all about my prescription! I went to another chemist during my lunch hour.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008OVER & OVER & OVER AGAINSeveral weeks ago, Hubs & I decided that Grandma was capable of taking the necessary pain medication herself. She also takes other medication - for cholestrol control, high blood pressure & an aspirin to keep her blood thin - on a daily basis. Since having half her colon removed, she isn't allowed to become constipated. If her tummy hasn't 'worked' after 2 days, she has to have a liquid laxative. I honestly couldn't tell you the amount of times I've asked her if her tummy has worked. She KNOWS how important it is. Initially, I doled out her meds daily, but as she got stronger (physically) I felt she would be able to take the stuff for herself. This situation went well for a while & then it was as if overnight, she'd been visited by the Village Idiot Fairy. She would come to me, holding her tummy & say "Can I have a pain pill please, I'm right sore." & I'd reply "but YOU have the pills Flowerpot, not me!" She'd scuttle off back to her room & take the necessary pain pill & all would be fine, until the following day, when I'd have a repeat performance. The same scenario would play out on an almost daily basis & it got so frustrating that I spat my dummy one day & shouted "Dya want me to write it on the fucking walls grandma? I haven't got the pills - YOU have!" Not so long ago, she took a whole strip (10) of pain pills within the course of a few hours. By early evening, I actually thought she was pissed, but thought it was strange as she hadn't had a drink. I only found out about almost overdosing when she came to ask me (yet again) for pain pills. She didn't remember taking them & swore blind that she hadn't had any since the previous week. From that day on, I took full control of every single sodding pill she has to take & I've put the 'muti' box on the top shelf of a cupboard, where I know she can't reach. She now has a little grey medicine pot, which I fill for her once a day. In it, she gets her cholestrol tablet, her aspirin, her BP pill & one painkiller for every 6hrs of the day. At night, she puts her pot on the kitchen counter for a refill for the following day. Despite getting into a little routine with her little grey pot, she will still come to me & ask me for a pain pill. I'll tell her in a matter of fact voice, that she has her pot............."remember Flowerpot?" & she'll say "Oh yes, of course I do!" then scuttle back into her room (pit) to find her pill. Yesterday, she was very sore, so I gave her extra pills & by the evening, she was no longer in pain. Some days - today is actually a good example - I could literally just sit down & cry. She came into the kitchen, clutching her tummy & quietly groaning. "Grandma, wassup, why are you holding your tummy?" "I'm sore" she said. "But why are you sore Flowerpot, what have you done?" I asked "Nothing..................but my tummy hasn't worked for a week" For the love of Gawd Almighty, I could've chucked her off the bloody balcony (again!). I gave her a good telling off, which was swiftly followed by a dose of her laxative. Next up was a pitiful whine of "Well I didn't know............................" I guess I'm tired. Hubs has had malaria, followed by flu & I've caught the flu from him, so we're both knackered. I love my perch at night & can normally sleep for 9-10hrs without a hitch, but for the last week or so, for whatever reason, I cannot sleep. I toss & turn, fidget & wriggle & eventually get about 5hrs sleep if I'm lucky. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated, but it's no ones fault. I keep telling myself, over & over again - it shouldn't have to be like this. Grandma is the most loveable & generous woman - she would give you her last ten cents or last breath if she felt it would help you in some way. She just doesn't deserve to have to be like this.
Monday, January 14, 2008PUNTIFICATINGPUN-TIFICATING: We'll never run out of maths teachers because they always multiply. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA. The maths professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. . . ************************************************* .. THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD . . Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit! . Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. . You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit. . Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. . There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit. . You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. . You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle. . You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit. . Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. . Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. . You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. . Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. . . And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!! . Many thanks to Jo for sending me that Shit!
Saturday, January 12, 2008A BIT OF A CHANGE ON THE Y FRONT I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I've changed a few things regarding my blog. First up was the rambling under the blog title - to me, my description of ; "Soon to be Half Century ancient wench. Lived in a heap of poverty stricken, disease ridden 3rd World countries & The Magic Kingdom.I've been dragged up & still live in the construction industry.Insanity is maintained by living with Grandma & swearing." is very true. I will hit the half century mark soon (all donations of spliff or vast amount of Happy Pills will be gratefully received) & I most certainly have lived in a fair share of poverty stricken, disease ridden 3rd world countries, as well as the Magic Kingdom, where the tide just never reaches as far as Riyadh. My dad spent his early days as a poacher, but by the time I was hatched, had his feet firmly planted in the construction industry, which he never left. I met Hubs on a construction site in a small town in Natal, where they still have hitching posts outside the falling-down water(ing) holes. He's still very much involved in the construction industry & I've stuck to him like shit to a blanket. Having my MotherByLaw (a.k.a. Grandma/LGHOL) live with me ensures my insanity is maintained at a pretty reasonable level. Swearing balances out the rest. Since Hubs got his Harley, I seem to have taken on a whole new lease on life. I've lost weight (back on the no carbs after a month long break over the Crimble period) am wearing jeans again & have reverted from a permed/highlighted bonce of hair, to a short & spiky reddish colour. The old saying of "You're only as old as you feel" is pretty apt, as I feel like a young 'un again, although I'm not currently feeling myself, as it takes two hands to type this shit................ So, I've changed my Grandma Giles image, to that of the HOG (Harley Owners Group) logo, as I've started a new blog, (The HOG Blog) aimed specifically at the Harley inclined folk here in Abu Dhabi & in all honesty, my Grandma Giles image just doesn't go with extremely lovely motorbikes. At the moment, I'm just setting the other blog up, but should my services as Blog poster no longer be required, then I'll swap my colours back for Grandma Giles' in her armchair. Jin has not left the building, but Jayne with a Y has taken her spot for a while :-D
Wednesday, January 09, 2008LGHOL TURNS 79 Grandma in Al Ain, 2006Awwwwwww, our incredibly special Little Grey Haired Old Lady turns 79 years of age today, bless her. Despite the daily loss of ever increasing marbles, she's still hanging in there. Physically, since the operation in October, she's totally stuffed & a little walk to a shop just 2 buildings away will knacker her for 2 days straight. She often forgets what day of the week it is, but this can depend on how many glasses of wine she had the previous evening. She's still enjoying her dop, her fags & her food, but is now reliant on pain pills. She's a fighter though & all we can do is make sure she's got everything she wants & to keep the pain at bay. . When she gets to the stage of no longer being able to make us a cuppa tea, we'll have to do some serious thinking...................... . HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLOWERPOT. You know we love ya!
Hubs has just come home, cold, tired & well pissed off. His greeting? "You always fucking get ONE!" We have underground parking. We have ONE alloted space. We have chosen to put both bikes in that space & the car is parked in a free, ground level carpark, opposite the apartment block. The 'Glide is parked up, horizontally across our space, with room to park the Softail in front of it. Two bikes, once space - pukka......................like the photo shows.  But then you always get ONE don'tcha? One fcukwit, who is just too bloody lazy, too bloody stupid, or - as I'm more inclined to think - just too bloody ignorant to be courteous to other vehicle owners who have to park. LIKE THIS   We're getting well pissed off, like so many other residents, of INCONSIDERATE drivers that literally don't give a damn about how or where they park. Ons is nou gatvol. . Hubs is very concerned that these vehicles might get scratched. . As my header says : Check the worry in my eyes. Park like a fcukwit by all means, but do so at your own risk.
Saturday, January 05, 2008NEW YEAR (MY) NEW BABY!This is MY new baby! . She's a Harley Davidson Ultra Glide . Brand new - 2008 model, straight out of the box . Drooling may commence about now................... . .  Matching hair & T-shirt............gotta be colour co-ordinated innit? She's a buhh.....yewww......teee! (The bike that is! I always look like a bag of snakes!)  And talking of snakes - this is my very first step in the customisation. Kewl kickstand! I've ordered new hand grips plus new foot pegs & boards, cos the standard ones are a tad boring. It'll be interesting - at least for me - to see how customising the bike takes shape. I've followed all of Hubs' progress with his Softail & it's been an amazing transformation, so I'm well keen now to get cracking with my bike. *sigh* There's just one small problem though........................ . . . . I have to learn how to ride!
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