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Wednesday, February 29, 2012NOBODY LOVES NIGERIA As those who read my drivel may be aware, I am currently living in Lagos, Nigeria. I've been here a few months now & have come to the conclusion that certain things are rather interesting. For example & from what I've seen, Nigerians will scam anyone out of anything if it's at all possible. I know the rest of the world holds a somewhat jaded attitude regarding Nigerian scams, but I have to say that I actually find it quite fascinating that Nigerians scam their fellow compatriots with as much vigour as what they do any other poor sucker living somewhere else in the world. The picture (above) is a common sight & is portrayed as a warning for the public at large, that indeed, the house/building really is not for sale.................so please, don't try & flog it off as a bargain to an unsuspecting buyer, because he will definitely see his arse. I've noticed a few 'personal' traits in various people I've come across or have had dealings with. A few have gone out of their way to welcome me to their country, which is most appreciated. Others have blatantly lied to me & become almost aggressive when confronted with their lies. I guess if you tell yourself a lie enough times, it becomes the truth in your mind. Having to buy gifts for family or friends living overseas became a test of endurance for me last December & for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the problem was. I ordered everything online - as one does when living in Deepest Darkest Africa - but despite the orders being 'processed' by the supplier & in a couple of instances, I saw that the given amount had been deducted against my credit card, I found that certain gifts weren't delivered. One such example was the gift of a childs 'laptop' computer for Chikkin & it was essential that it was delivered to her home address before the family departed for Tenerife. After my 4th attempt at actually buying the bloody thing was 'rejected' with a message to 'please contact your credit card provider', I did just that, only to be told that there was nothing wrong with my card (or Hubs') & no reason why the transaction couldn't go ahead. So I took the bull by the horns so to speak & wrote a shitty email to the supplier, asking what exactly their problem was. I had bought gifts from them before & was a 'registered' account holder, so why the hell were they giving me the run around? The answer to my question: You Live In Nigeria. The same thing happened when I ordered a lawnmower for Spadge, although this company actually processed the order & charged me 15Yoyo's for bloody delivery, but neglected to actually deliver the lawnmower until I wrote them a shitty email as well. Methinks they were quite happy to take my money but keep the goods, possibly in the hopes of thinking I too was a scammer, because I live in Nigeria. Fekkers. How do I get it through to the Outside World that I'm basically an honest wench & am not into any scams??? There is good & bad in every nationality in the world - that I truly understand, but after just a few short months, I've been left bloody gobsmacked at the audacity of some Nigerians. For a country that preaches the gospel & has people living solely for their 'god', I really can't help but think that the vast majority are a bunch of lying, thieving hypocrites. Lying is a national requirement! Qualifications are forged, birth/death/marriage certificates are bought 'ready stamped' by the necessary authority but left blank, yet the holder of any forged/bought document will swear on a dead relatives grave that it's true! Nigeria...................home of the 419 scam & gawd knows what else. I must say, in some respects, it makes life quite interesting! Now....................did I happen to mention, that my real name is Jane Abyaou Ikoyi & my late uncle left me the amount of $42.6million & I need your help in getting these funds out of the country, because otherwise my late uncles 5th wife will try & lay claim to it..............................  
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