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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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Wednesday, November 09, 2011AN UPDATE KINDA THING Greetings peeps, occasional readers of my drivel & fellow infidels etc. I know I've been slack with the posting, but it's been a tad difficult over the past coupla months. First off, we disconnected everything that could be disconnected in Ellisras/Laphalale/That-Gawdforsaken-Town-Full-of-Inbreeders in Limpopo, loaded up the gals (T2 & Eish - the Harleys - get with me here will ya!) & headed off into the sunset. This meant driving down to Joburg, dumping some excess luggage with a friend & then taking a slow drive down to East London. After a few days sorting out paperwork, relicensing The Beast (the Beemer) & the gals, meeting up with family & friends & then finally putting everything except ourselves & 50kgs of luggage into storage, we caught a flight back up to Joburg & then truly did head off into the sunset. So, a coupla months down the line, after one amazing holiday & a fortnight in the best personalised hotel one could wish for, I now find myself in strange territory. I say strange, 'cos I've never been to this place before. I think one time I had a 'stopover' en route to my destination, but I never got off the plane & apart from that, I've slept since then & naturally can't remember much about it............... Where am I you ask? Well, if y'all check on the left hand side of the page, just above my self portrait, you'll see that I'm currently gobsmacked in Nigeria. I've said for donkeys years that there are 2 countries that I'll never live in. One is England (again) & the other, is Nigeria. The first - England - is because it is a manically depressing country, with grey weather & grey people who think the world owes them a favour. The politics suck, yet the population are too fucking scared to do anything about it. Should I ever have the misfortune to have to ever, ever live in England again, I fear I'll be arrested & thrown in jail for simply opening my mouth & voicing my opinion(s). Hmph! And Nigeria? Well, it's gained a worldwide reputation for being the home of 4-something-9 scams (I can never remember is its 409 or 419) amongst other highly dubious monetary theiving schemes. It has sent its ugly masterminds out into the big, wide world & set up drug cartels in major cities. Durban & Joburg city centres are run by Nigerians, who funnily enough, rarely get to feel the long arm of the law or be deported if convicted of serious crimes. Nigerians do not, on the whole, have a very good reputation. I did not want to ever want to live in a country that appeared to be run by criminals. I've lived in Ghana & it too is pretty corrupt, which I'm assuming it learnt from its neighbouring country. Mind you, the whole of Africa is fucking corrupt, so what else is new? When Hubs first mentioned "Ummmm, wotcha fink about living in Nigeria?" I replied as eloquently as possible, "fuck off!". Some weeks passed. I was asked again. Due to circumstances that defy the imagination & the fact that I'd been reduced to taking little pink pills to keep the sanity at bay & not let me make a mess with razor blades, I chose to hear Hubs out on the subject of maybe moving to Nigeria. It sounded rather appealing I must admit. Further discussions ensued. An offer was made to Hubs & a decision was made. Lagos, here we come! So fast forward & here I am. Living in a hotel on Victoria Island at present. Hubs is being treated with a great deal of respect & his employer is appreciative of his knowledge & experience - unlike his old boss, who was jealous & insecure. It's nice 'n warm - 28C-30C most days - but the humidity is a bit of a bugger at around 80% daily. There are potholes in roads in which you could lose an oil tanker & the moquitoes are big enough to carry off a small child. There is poverty, there is filth, there are men sporting faces with horrendous tribal scars, there are vehicles on the road that should've been crushed 5yrs ago, there are hawkers at traffic junctions selling plastic toilet seats & rolls of Mentos sweets. It's Lagos & yours truly has arrived!  
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