JAYNE WITH A WHY


My life has endured some drastic changes over the past 5yrs. I've moved continents, moved countries, lost my partner in life, lost my dogs, lost the bikes & no doubt about it, lost more than a few marbles along the way. I'm fucked up but valiantly fighting off sanity, which snaps at my heels at regular intervals. I swear a lot. Tell someone who cares.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

H.O.G. GOES BUSH (Part 1)




On the 1st of October, myself, Hubs & a great bunch of friends from Abu Dhabi H.O.G. set off on our much anticipated tour to my home country, South Africa.

Our first night was spent at 4 Dunton Exclusive Guest Lodge, where our host Thelma made us extremely welcome. As our flight only arrived late in the evening, Thelma organised a platter of cheese, biscuits & fruit for each of the rooms. Despite being knackered from the long flight, we were all excited & chattered away until the wee hours of the morning.

Left to Right - Tanya (Canadian) Jo (American) & some fat blonde bird........

Left to Right front - Hubs, Mahmoud aka Max (Emirati), Big Mike (Canadian) Left to Right behind - Doc Bob (English) & Sleepy Jim (American)

The following morning, after a wickedly sumptious brekkers, we headed off to Rivonia (doll*) to the Harley dealer. Hubs arranged the hire of 6 bikes & Riaan, the Manager of Harley Joburg had everything organised for us.............including a preplanned prank on Big Mike. We'd ordered touring bikes - 2 UltraGlides, 2 Street Glides & 2 Road Kings. When it came to allocating the bikes, Riaan apologised profusely to Big Mike & said that the 'Glide he'd booked had unfortunately been involved in an accident the previous day & that the only bike he had available was an 883cc Sportster (the smallest bike in the Harley range). Now Bike Mike isn't a little chap by any stretch of the imagination. His face dropped..............bugger, it was classic!

Big Mike: You gotta be kidding me man...............
Riaan: Hell, I'm really sorry but...................
Big Mike: Fuck no man, there'll be more of my ass (arse) off the seat than on it!
Riaan: I'm sorry, but it's all I got left.................
Big Mike: Ahhh fuck this.....................I can't fuckin ride a Sporty.................fuck it, I'm going home!
At which point we couldn't stifle the sniggers any longer & all howled with laughter! Bugger it was funny! Poor Mikey! He took the joke in good spirits, despite calling us all some very choice names. Jo managed to capture the moment on video, so I reckon that's gonna be replayed often in the future!
To save any smart arses the trouble of asking..................no, I was not busting to squeeze a kidney!


After loading up, we took off in convoy for Gold Reef City. It used to be a great place, but I guess time & possibly the change in politics have taken their toll. No worries though, some of the guys went down the mine & got to see a gold pour.




The following morning, after yet another brilliant 'full house' breakfast from Thelma, we packed the luggage into & on the bikes & set off to our next destination, Tzaneen. Like any city in the world, Joburg traffic leaves much to be desired, but it ain't half as bad as the chaos that pervades the UAE. Once we hit the highways, it was plain sailing. The weather was wonderful for riding, other motorists waved at us & gave us the thumbs up & despite what may seem as hefty toll fees (for locals) we found the highways to be in extremely good condition. All was good in the Rainbow Nation..................until..................phhhht phhhhht phhhht..................a sudden loss in power on our (i.e. Hubs & I) UltraGlide. Hmmmm, this shouldn't happen methinks! It was an 08 model, only had a few thousand k's on the clock........what could go wrong?

We pulled onto the hard shoulder, had a fag & the menfolk did much prodding & poking, trying to establish exactly what the problem might be. Ten minutes later, the 'Glide appeared to have recovered from its ailment & we set off again.

To cut a long story short, after the 3rd time it died on us, we parked the 'Glide under a bridge, phoned Riaan, told him what the story was & then did some rearranging with the remaining bikes. Max very kindly doubled up with Tanya & let us use his bike.

Wherever we stopped, either for fuel or just a breather, people came up to talk to us & asked if they could have their photos taken by the bikes.

Don'tcha just love it? A fully laden truck, with a 3 piece lounge suite & double kitchen sink on top! Only in Africa :-)

After some 350km into the ride, we stopped off at Picasso's, a beautiful little family run restaurant in Haenertsburg. Both the setting & food were divine. The owner has a wicked sense of humour & she got full marks for the little sign just above the menu board:

So, with tummies & kidneys fully replenished, we carried on our ride, to our final destination for the day - Mashutti Country Lodge near Tzaneen. Wow, what a lovely spot in paradise! As a Saffie, I can't begin to describe the feeling of just how special it is to get 'back to the bush'. The driveway to the lodge was lined with blossoms from overhanging trees & the view from our chalets was simply stunning.


October is the month for Jacaranda trees to show the world just how pretty their purple blossoms are.

We'd had a long day & a hard ride......................I did something I haven't done for many, many years - I had a beer *hic*! After just that one, my lips went numb & I was slightly light-headed, so I stuck to Sprite for the rest of the evening. I'm such a boring old ratbag!


Shortly before heading up to the lodge for dinner, I just took time out, soaking up the peace & tranquility of the bush at sunset. I think Camella, our Chapter mascot, enjoyed the feeling just as much as I did............................

To be continued.

* kugelspeak, understandable to Saffies.


Posted by Jayne :: 12:40 :: 21 Had Somminc To Say

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

WAIT SMALL, I'LL BE BACK JUST NOW

Greetings kids/fans/plebs/bloggers & any other misfits who happen to land on this page..........................
The Bigga J has returned from what can only be described as a fuckin' AWESOME trip home to Souf Efrica. A full blown blast was had by all & I shall bore you to tears with heaps of photos & perhaps a few sordid details...........just as soon as I find somewhere new to live. For fellow Abu Dhabians, you will know that trying to find an apartment in this sandy city is nothing short of a NIGHTMARE! Hubs has changed jobs & his soon-to-be ex-company refuses to let us take over the lease of our current apartment (the lease is in their name) so we've been phoning every man/agent & his cat trying to find a new spot to park off. I'm trying very hard not to get disheartened, but fuckwit letting agents that tell you they have a 3 bed apartment but don't exactly know where it is are doing my bloody 'ead in honestly.

So in the meantime, be good, do it quietly & have one for me - whatever it might be *wink* & if anyone knows of a spot that has a minimum of 2 bedrooms & a DEFINITE parking space, then please drop me a line in the next nano second!

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Posted by Jayne :: 20:22 :: 11 Had Somminc To Say

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