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Friday, August 15, 2008SUMMER CLASSES FOR MENSummer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 22nd 2008 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 . How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 . The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. .... Class 3 . Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. . Class 4 . Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. . Class 5 . Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM . Class 6 . Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM . Class 7 . Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. . Class 8 . Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. . Class 9 . Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined . Class 10 . Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. . Class 11 . Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined . Class 12 . How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. . Class 13 . How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. . Class 14 . The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. . . Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. . . In response to this post, Grumpy Old Man left a comment that was too good to go unpublished. So, in reply to the 'Classes For Men' here is his equivalent for Wimmin! .. . Evening Classes for WomenNote: Due to the intense nature of the course material, each session has a maximum of eight participants. . . Topic 1: Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before .. Topic 2: The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits . Topic 3: Parties: Going Without New OutfitsTopic . 4: Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First . Topic 5: Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking . Topic 6: Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging . Topic 7: Telephone Skills - How to hang up in less than 30 minutes . Topic 8: Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire . Topic 9: Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both . Topic 10: Introduction to Parking . Topic 11: Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space . Topic 12: Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully . Topic 13: Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Own . Topic 14: Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice . Topic 15: Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together . Topic 16: Cooking: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People . Topic 17: TV Remotes: For Men Only
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