JAYNE WITH A WHY


My life has endured some drastic changes over the past 5yrs. I've moved continents, moved countries, lost my partner in life, lost my dogs, lost the bikes & no doubt about it, lost more than a few marbles along the way. I'm fucked up but valiantly fighting off sanity, which snaps at my heels at regular intervals. I swear a lot. Tell someone who cares.

Friday, August 15, 2008

SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 22nd 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
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How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
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The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
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Class 3
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Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
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Class 4
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Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
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Class 5
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Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
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Class 6
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Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
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Class 7
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Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
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Class 8
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Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
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Class 9
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Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
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Class 10
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Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
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Class 11
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Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
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Class 12
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How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
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Class 13
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How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
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Class 14
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The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
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Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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In response to this post, Grumpy Old Man left a comment that was too good to go unpublished. So, in reply to the 'Classes For Men' here is his equivalent for Wimmin!
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Evening Classes for WomenNote: Due to the intense nature of the course material, each session has a maximum of eight participants.
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Topic 1: Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
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Topic 2: The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
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Topic 3: Parties: Going Without New OutfitsTopic
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4: Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
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Topic 5: Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking
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Topic 6: Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
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Topic 7: Telephone Skills - How to hang up in less than 30 minutes
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Topic 8: Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
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Topic 9: Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
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Topic 10: Introduction to Parking
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Topic 11: Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
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Topic 12: Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
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Topic 13: Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Own
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Topic 14: Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
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Topic 15: Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
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Topic 16: Cooking: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
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Topic 17: TV Remotes: For Men Only

Posted by Jayne :: 10:47 :: 16 Had Somminc To Say

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