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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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January 2006 . : On My Perch at Night, I'm Reading A Book On My Kindle: .
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Saturday, July 12, 2008KEEP YOURSELVES BUSY...........................I can't be arsed to write much at the moment - been on a bit of a downer but dunno why............................so keep yourselves busy & have a smile, giggle or laugh at some of the stuff friends have sent me recently :-) 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5 .When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it - DUH! 8. When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dipshit? ************** Cup of Tea One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :) 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?' ***************** Kids Are Quick
And finally...............always leave the best until last :-)
Nominated as best short joke this year:
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet,' she replied  
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