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Friday, June 06, 2008TIME TO LIGHTEN UPA mother is pregnant with triplets. There are two girls and a boy. She is standing in a supermarket one day, when the shop is robbed. She is shot three times in the stomach. The doctor tells her the babies will be fine, but they may suffer some odd side effects. 13 years later, the mother is fixing dinner, and the oldest, a girl, walks in sobbing. The mother says,"Sweetie, whats wrong?!" The daughter replies,"I was going to the bathroom and a bullet came out!!!" The mother tells her there is no need to worry, and sends her on her way. The next day as the mother is cooking dinner, the second oldest, a girl, walks in sobbing, "Mommy, I was going to the bathroom and a bullet came out!!!" The mother tells her there is no need to worry and that the same thing had happened to her sister, then sends he on her way. The next day, the mother is preparing dinner, and her youngest, a boy, walks in sobbing. The mother is prepared for him to do this, so she says,"Honey its ok, I know that you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out, right?" Her son sobs harder,"NO thats not what happened!" The mother says," Then why are you crying?!" Her son replies," I was jacking off and I shot the dog!!!" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * A man and his son went on a fishing trip out on the lake. After they had been out there a while, the dad reached in the cooler and pulled out a beer.
The son asked,"Daddy can I have a sip?" The dad asked,"Can you touch you dick to your arsehole?" The son said, "No." Later the dad pulled out a spliff and lit it up. The son asks, "Dad, can I have a hit?" The dad asked, "Can you touch your dick to your arsehole?" The boy said, "No." Later the son pulled out some homemade cookies, and the dad asked, "Son, hand me one of those cookies." The boy asked, "Can you touch your dick to your arsehole?" The dad replied, "As a matter of fact I can." The son said, "Good. Then go fuck yourself, Granny made these cookies for me."  
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