|
JAYNE WITH A WHY |
|
|
. : Recent Posts : .
NEW LIFE . : Archives : .
January 2006 . : On My Perch at Night, I'm Reading A Book On My Kindle: .
|
. : motley assortment of blogs from other parts of the multiverse : .
. : MY FAMILY MOTTO: FUCK 'EM ALL EXCEPT US: .
. : Credits : .
Template By Caz . : email: spadgesmum at gmail dot com .
|
|||||
Thursday, February 28, 2008A MONTH TO REMEMBER (NOT) This month has been absolutely horrible & that's putting it mildly. Despite there being the additional day of tomorrow - because it's a sodding leap year - this month is now unofficially OVER as far as I'm concerned. The month started with the unexpected death of the mother of a very good friend of mine in South Africa. Her mother had been through an emotionally draining divorce some 3yrs ago & it had certainly taken it's toll on the womans' mental state. The ex-husband (my friend's father) refused to 'let go' emotionally & was hell bent on destroying his ex wife. Upon the news of her death, the first thing he did was to go to her place of employment to try & wangle any outstanding salary, to which he most definitely was not entitled. When he had no joy, he approached the coroner & attempted to demand that his ex-wife be buried in a government 'pauper's' grave. When that failed, he attempted to halt the funeral arrangements his daughter had made. A restraining order was already in place thankfully & he was kept well away from the actual funeral. He's now trying to disrupt legal proceedings regarding the will of his ex-wife. How fucking sad is this bastard? My next shite event was the upset I went through the day before my Half-Century birthday. Up until that day, I was actually looking forward to turning 50. Instead, there was a series of misunderstood messages & an unpleasent online chat, which left me devastated. My oh-so-special birthday will be remembered for all the wrong bloody reasons. Next up was the news that Grandma, our infamous Little Grey Haired Old Lady, was diagnosed with having another tumour in her colon. This news was so unexpected & Hubs & myself were stunned. Her pain has increased, but thankfully she has medication to keep it at bay. On a good day she's the same old Grandma - full of chirps & little gems of wit. On a bad day, she's antagonistic, defiant, downright fucking stupid & so forgetful that it scares the living daylights out of me, to the extent that I'll never be more than 2 rooms away from her.
Thanks to the combined stress of work, Grandma's illness & my fragile state of mind, my poor Hubs went down with shingles. He NEEDS a bloody break. If he cracks, I've had it.
Tony & Kara During this really shitty month, I have made contact & seen (via webcam) my brother - for the first time in 15yrs. It was pretty emotional for me. I then learned that my recently married nephew Tony (my brother's son) has been diagnosed with testicular cancer. He's 25yrs old. In the space of about 6wks, he was diagnosed, operated on & begins chemotherapy on Monday. For once, the NHS acted swiftly. Sadly, the only failing I can see is that they haven't offered Tony & Kara any counselling, but hopefully it will be made available to him soon. My last entry into the book of the shittiest month, is about our granddaughter Lilly's Godmother, 'T'. Lilly was the flowergirl at T's wedding - a picture perfect event & also one filled with much love & happiness. T & her husband J were blessed with a baby boy late last year. The baby was born very prematurely, but obviously had a fighting spirit, as he clung to life from the word go. Shan's sent us a message on Wednesday morning to say that baby Ethan had died. My heart goes out to T & J. I honestly cannot imagine the pain they must be going through. I hope March is a better month, I really do.  
Tuesday, February 26, 20086 THIINGS TO DO BEFORE 18My extremely mad, funny, beautiful friend Kaya has tagged me with this rather sane sounding thing eeeek! The rules are: 1. Post these rules before presenting your list. 2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18. 3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list. 4. At the end of your blog, choose 6, or less, people to get tagged and list their names. 5. The tagged peeps write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions. 6. Leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged. Crikey! If I listed some of the things I got up to before the age of 18, my blog would warrant the special designer blue & red page thing, y'know, the one that says 'This site is Forbidden'. So, I think for the benefit of keeping my blog on the right side of the censors, I'd go with the following (snippets of sanity): 1) Enjoy your youth, 'cos you only have it once. Looking & acting 'all grown up' leaves an impression of about 3 nano seconds with your 'best friends'. You will get to be 'all grown up' in a few years time, when you will have the pressures of possibly a wife, a family, a mortgage & a pet that has a weak bladder & psychotic tendencies towards anyone who has the misfortune to walk through your front door. Enjoy your youth, cos it don't last for long! 2) Don't choose a career that you 'think' you might like or be forced into one that your parents feel is 'right' for you. Wait until you're slightly older & have had the opportunity to try out several short-term positions in various fields, before settling on a permanent choice. It's no good being a proctologist if you can't stand baked beans. 3) Understand that for every action, there is a reaction. It's a vitally important fact of life. 4) Travel, as far afield & as many times as you can afford to. We're given ONE life, which is so complicated at times it does my head in! We live in ONE world, unless you happen to be Terry Pratchett. Use every possible opportunity to travel to different parts of your home country, your home continent & then take it further if you can, to see other parts of the world. There really is so much to see & experience. Prove to yourself that you can't fall off of the edge of the world. 5a) MAKE time to stop & smell the flowers. 5b) Walk in the rain. 5c) Let yourself get splashed by waves if you walk along the shore. 5d) Marvel at the intricacies of a cobweb, instead of fearing the spider. 5e) Taste & try to identify every spice or herb in a special meal. 5f) Watch the sun go down & savour the moment it breaks over the horizon again, at the start of a whole new day. 5g) Feel the amazing softness of a horses muzzle. 5h) Cry when you watch a sad movie. 5i) Don't be afraid to admit you're wrong. 5j) Sing to yourself. 5k) Smile at a total stranger. 5l) Bungee jump. 5m) Use a dead cat as a toilet brush. (It helps if it's really stiff) 6) My final action or achievement is on a more personal note & it is to ride a Harley. If you just take one for a test ride, the feeling of longing to have your own will never leave you. There's something very special about a Harley & it's a feeling that I'd recommend to anyone. The following have been tagged, with humble apologies. You're under no obligation to do the tag, but if you don't, I'll just have to send you a cockroach cluster through the post :-)
My Blog mate - Half & Half - who very kindly brought me back a fridge magnet from both Cancun & Cuba - has tagged me with the book tag thingy. Now, considering the current book I'm reading has already been done several times (as it's so popular) I've decided to do the task on a book which I recently finished.  (2) Open the book to page 123...................flick flick flick lick finger flick flick flick. OK! (5) TAG 5 people.......so here ya go folks :-)
Monday, February 25, 2008GOBBY SOD A conversation between myself & someone who likes to have the last word (in everything!) this morning went like this:
Me: I see Daniel Day Lewis got the Oscar for Best Actor. LW: Hmmmmmm. Me: This is his 2nd Oscar......he won the other one a few years back for the film My Left Foot. LW: He was in Dances With Wolves. Me: Was he bollocks! That was Kevin Costner! LW: *silence* for about ten seconds........... LW: Nah, Daniel Day Lewis was in it, I'm telling you.......................................... . . . . . . . he was one of the wolves!!
Friday, February 22, 2008BLONDE MOMENT    I love my red spikey hair honestly, but I swear I should go back to being a blonde. I'm as thick as shit some days. I decided to drive up to a new mall, about 4 blocks away. The 4 x 4 was parked in the car park at the back of the apartment block. I walked towards it, clicked the remote thingy to unlock the car and................................................. climbed in the passenger side! I've only lived here for nearly 3yrs. You'd think I get it that this is a 'left hand' drive country. I'm beyond hope some days I tell ya!
Thursday, February 21, 2008ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE BOOK OF LIFE Firstly, to all the great folks who take the time to read my drivel & leave me such wonderful & supportive comments, I sincerely thank you all. If I could put my arms around you in a collective hug, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Sadly I can't (with the exception of kaya) so please accept my 'as good as' huge **Blog H U G** . The past few weeks have been emotionally hectic for me...............but with the love & support from those close to me, I'm finally seeing sense again - yay! I went & offloaded to a shrink, who in return, gave me a couple of good tips on how to cope a particular problem, plus advice on how to handle what the near future will bring in respect of grandma's physical & mental condition. . Y'know, I can change a plug, I can change the wheel on a car & I'm pretty good with a power drill, so long as I don't hit a concrete lintel, cos then the air turns a dark shade of blue from my swearing............ahem.......................I can paint walls, re-upholster chairs & make a garden from a bare patch of dirt. I've been through some horrendous experiences, faced them head on & somehow managed to cope & better still, come out stronger on the 'other side'. But right now, I feel so incredibly helpless & at times, so fucking angry, because I am watching one very special Little Grey Haired Old Lady die, slowly, just a little bit, every single day. I feel helpless, because despite doing every possible thing I can to make sure she wants for nothing & isn't in pain, I can't take away this thing that is eating away at her. It's a monster, a hateful, horrible, greedy monster that won't be satiated until it's finished it's job by destroying her. I want it to just fuck off & leave our family Rock* alone. If it was visible, I would tell it to just sod off...................go find someone else to invade...............just leave Grandma alone! Trouble is, it's had a taste of her colon & now it's back, for a much bigger portion. I feel angry - correction, I AM angry - because this shouldn't be happening to grandma. She deserves so much, honestly, so very much more than to have to go through this. . I know there are millions of women who plough through life with a secret loathing of their mother-in-law. There are those also, who don't keep it a secret & are blatant about their dislike for their husbands' mother. That's a shite situation & I wouldn't wish it on any married couple, as it causes untold friction, which in return creates even more tension within the marriage & sometimes ends up destroying a marriage. My motherbylaw is a gem. She's a star. She's totally unique. She's down to earth, funny, tough as old boots, thick as a brick & sharp as a knife. She is so generous to others, but always puts herself last. She's blatant, doesn't mince her words, is sarcastic, hysterically funny when ratarse & (was always) pretty much game for anything. She tells me straight if I am wrong, but will back me up when I'm right. She can piss me off, make me chuckle & reduce me to tears. She will take secrets to her grave, rather than divulge them. She's a bloody good judge of character, which is why she loves me! (har har) My motherbylaw has lived with me for just over 17yrs now. In all that time, we have had only one major upset. In 1981, after the hatching of Spadge, her name changed from 'Mum' to Grandma. Even Hubs calls her grandma - in fact I can't remember the last time he called her mum. . Last Sunday, I took grandma back to the doctor, for stronger pain medication. I told the doc that she never went to see the oncologist at Mafraq hospital. He was stunned. After a chat to find out how she was doing, he examined her & within seconds, pinpointed an all-new-bigger-and-better tumour, clearly defined by his touch. . My heart simply sank. I honestly wasn't expecting news like this. I don't know if grandma was - she hasn't said. The doc said she would need constant monitoring, frequent abdominal scans, probably more surgery & definitely chemotherapy. . "Amy, you know I want you to go for this treatment!" said the doc. . "No" was her reply. "I watched my husband go through chemo, saw what it did to him & I'm telling you, I'm not having it. Just give me something for the pain & I'll be fine." . We left the consulting room & came home with a prescription for a pretty staunch painkiller, specifically for pain associated with cancer. The doc said grandma could travel if she felt capable, so tonight, Hubs booked her a ticket to fly to the UK next month, to go & see her baby sister, 'Our Anne'. (she's only 72yrs old!) . Grandma has got something to look forward to & after a phone call tonight, 'Our Anne' is all excited about seeing her 'big sister' again. Bless. . . So tell me, does anyone want to know about the KIDNAPPING CHAPTER in this 'ere Book of Life? . * Spadge nicknamed Grandma The Rock, because she's solid in every way imaginable.
Sunday, February 17, 2008PEEKING THROUGH THE CLOUD My emotional state took another blow a few hours ago. Grandma has got another tumour. I sought professional help today. I had to. It did me good. I hope I can cope now. I will be back blogging, in a day or two. Thank you everyone, for the comments on my last post.
Monday, February 11, 2008WAIT SMALL Try as I have, I'm having great difficulty in coming to terms with the choice words which were uttered on the eve of my (albeit dreaded) 50th birthday. I've done so much thinking about what was said, to the extent that I have a permanent headache. I've been made to feel guilty about being happy & until just over a week ago, I was happier than I have been in years. However, a few choice words have brought me crashing back down to earth & have left me quietly crying when no one is around. I'm honestly not dealing too well with what was said & have decided to take a break from blogging for a while.I hope to be back. Take care folks. Jayne
Saturday, February 09, 2008TALKING CRAP........................   To those who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of crap. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Crap, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
Monday, February 04, 2008THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'SPOILT & FUCKED'In my heart, I am African. Many moons ago, I spent a short stint in Ghana, West Africa & not so many moons ago, I got to go there again, but for a longer period of time. As with living in so many countries over the years, one tends to pick up various colloqualisms of each place. In Ghana, one of the more prolific colloqualisms used is to define if something is broken - i.e. damaged, or if it is totally beyond repair. As an example, a bumper bashing accident in a car would simply mean the car is 'spoilt' - it's not 100% anymore, but it can be fixed, whereas a full head on collision with a car would mean the car is 'fucked' - totally beyond repair. Right now, my emotional state is hovering between being 'spoilt' & 'fucked'. I don't want to go into details as it involves a very close member of my family. I made a comment, which was misinterpreted & the backlash has been nothing short of horrific for me. The picture below carries the label 'Morning Has Broken'. It's 'spoilt', out of order. In so many ways, just like me.  Thank you all for the lovely birthday greetings - I really do appreciate all the comments I get from folks reading my drivel. Turning the milestone of Half a Century will leave memories for quite a while methinks. My darling Bob, thank you for the amazing flowers, love & support & thank you Kaya for the gifts, the love & for just being you.
Friday, February 01, 2008TWO MORE DAYS Bugger it's depressing.
|
