|
JAYNE WITH A WHY |
|
|
. : Recent Posts : .
NEW LIFE . : Archives : .
January 2006 . : On My Perch at Night, I'm Reading A Book On My Kindle: .
|
. : motley assortment of blogs from other parts of the multiverse : .
. : MY FAMILY MOTTO: FUCK 'EM ALL EXCEPT US: .
. : Credits : .
Template By Caz . : email: spadgesmum at gmail dot com .
|
|||||
Monday, December 31, 2007CHIKKIN UPDATE
Due to an overly aggressive Customs officer at Heathrow airport breaking Mummy Shans' digital camera in September, we haven't seen any photos of Chikkin, well not since our holiday together in August. I was having some very serious withdrawal symptoms. Then, on Saturday, I got the wonderful opportunity of chatting online with Spadge & he aimed the webcam at Lilly. My heart melted......................I kept saying "I can't believe how much she's grown!" At 2yrs & nearly 2mths, Lilly Mai is one very precious little gem. All together now.........Awwwwwww!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE & ALL  
Wednesday, December 26, 2007I SURVIVED ! I got through the 'run up', Crimble Day itself & every nano second since, without my visual or audio senses being tortured by Boney M singing (?) a single Christmassy song. No BONEY M!!! I deserve a medal! I might in fact be an unknown member of a secret We Hate Boney M Society! If that's the case, I feel honoured. The Pogues were bad enough, but in my opinion, there is nothing more assaulting to the ears than having to listen to a Boney M Christmas song...............or any other Boney M song some to think of it! I feel good. I have survived!
Sunday, December 23, 2007MERRY CRIMBLE & ALL THAT STUFF 'Tis the time of year to be jolly, tra la la. Grandma's just told me it's only going to be 23C today, so for those in the Northern Hemisphere (who very kindly read my blog) STOP SWEARING NOW! . Hubs has just taken an initial dose of Nivoquine, cos after a couple of clear years, he's come down with a relapse of malaria. Fucking mosquitoes. . I shall be collecting the rest of the Crimble stuff today & with a bit of luck, will have everything wrapped & sorted by this evening. It's going to be a very quiet time this year, minus Chikkin. *sigh* . . To fellow Bloggers all over the Multiverse, I wish you all a wonderful Crimble.
Monday, December 17, 2007ANNIVERSARY This time, some 31yrs ago, I was getting ready to walk down the aisle. I was 18yrs young & about to enter a whole new life, with a partner by my side. It was unknown territory! I cannot begin to tell you how much I have learned from my partner in life. I've seen things I would never have imagined. I've been to places where few have dared to roam. I have cried tears of happiness & I've also shed many a tear over stupid or petty arguments. I have made some monumental cock-ups in these past 31yrs, but despite them, my partner in life has stayed with me. He has made me look at life in a manner that I'd never even thought of as a young 'un. He has taught me so much, about anything & everything. Love is not a bed of roses. It's not all sweet & sickly or full of kisses & passion. It is about commitment, about communication, about patience, about appreciation, about making sacrifices & about sharing. It is an emotional state of mind & body between two people. Being totally nuts often helps the situation. (I should know!) Happy Anniversary Bob. Thirty one years & still going strong hey? I Love You, very very madly. You're cooking tonight right?
A sample of the thoughts, running around in my head right now, including the To Do List: Go get ready! Going to see the Veggies today. Haven't seen them for ages & feel more than a tad guilty. Phone beauty salon re. tattoo. Thai green curry (chicken). Hairdresser 1.00pm Turn off Sky News before I smash the TV Wonder if we will make a MAJOR decision today. If Jacob Zuma is elected as leader of the ANC, it's highly likely we will sell up everything at home...............house, car, remaining furniture etc. etc. The man is a fucking danger to society as a whole. My heart is incredibly sad.
Sunday, December 16, 2007WINDOWS FOR LITTLE GREY HAIRED OLD LADIES  
Thursday, December 13, 2007A SHINING EXAMPLE Just recently, a very good friend told me of an incident that has left him feeling very angry. In one unmentionable Municiple carpark in Abu Dhabi, a parking 'attendant' had the misfortune to be 'caught' washing a car. He was apprehended by persons unknown to him, punched repeatedly in the face & then taken to the police, where he was arrested. He was informed he would be deported. . His crime? . Washing a car. . . He was released, after the intervention of a 'friendly' policeman. From what my friend gathered, the deportation 'order' has been dropped. Whether this was a scare tactic by the unknown people who insisted on his arrest, I do not know. What I have been told though, is that the victim earns a paltry Dhs300 per month. Like many, many poorly paid people in the UAE, he subsidises his meagre salary by washing cars. It's an activity normally carried out in the dead of night & in darkened areas. . Words fail me, when according to the law, it is illegal to have a dirty car in the UAE. It's also illegal to 'employ' TCN's* to wash your vehicle. The only other option - in order to have a clean car - is to take your vehicle to an ADNOC or similar filling station & then put your vehicle through the automatic car wash. On a good day/night, you might only have to wait an hour in a queue. On a bad day, you can expect to wait anywhere up to 2-3hrs. During that time, you will be incredibly frustrated as other motorists try to get into the filling station, which they can't do, because you & several others will be blocking the entrance. You'll also end up in a queue of cars (waiting to get into the filling station) that ends up blocking the inside lane of traffic on the road in which the filling station is located. Oh.......of course, you'll also have to put up with the arsehole who has double digit numberplates & insists that he's far superior in car & nationality, so that entitles him to push in. . I wrote about the subject of car-washing shortly after I started blogging. I was amazed then & I'm nothing short of stunned now. A simple man, trying to earn a few extra bucks, gets the crap kicked out of him & threatened with deportation, just because he washed a car. . What next I wonder?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSEDWHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of whic h way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $500 Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. ! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
Sunday, December 09, 2007LADIES SING ALONG...........These are new & adapted lyrics to a famous song by Gloria Gaynor. Ladies, I give you "I Will Survive" I know this has probably done the rounds via email, but hey, have a laugh & sing along OK! I WILL SURVIVE At first I was afraid, I was petrified. When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on... * But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry! I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans! * Go on now-go! Walk out the door, Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4! Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!? Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!! * [Chorus] I will survive! I will survive! Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive! I will always have good sex, With a handful of latex! I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey! * It took all my self control not to laugh out loud, When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud! But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs, Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed! * [Chorus] I will survive! I will survive! Cuz as long as I have batteries,My sex life's gonna thrive! I will always have good sex, With a handful of latex! I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey! Due to certain fears, I removed the 'original' photo as I don't want to end up with this :  If anyone still wants to see the 'original' photo, kindly email me.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007FIND THE EGG & IT'S NOT EVEN EASTER! I was tempted to commit a crime today, but I didn't! I chose to walk 3 blocks in order to do a spot of banking. Not only is it good exercise, but it was also the perfect opportunity to suss out every supermarket along my route, to see if there were any eggs in stock. We have an egg shortage in the UAE. I don't use eggs too often, but I do like to have 6 or 12 of 'em in stock, for those occasions when I can't be arsed to cook somminc & will just knock up scrambled chukkylegs instead. The shortage - so the rumour goes - is the fault of the Magic Kingdom apparently. Despite the odd & very brief official news propaganda re. the outbreak of the dreaded bird flu, it (apparently) appears such statements are a crock of shit. Officially, Saudi has only slaughtered a few tens of thousand infected chickens. Unofficially of course, the Magic Kingdom has a major epidemic of bird flu on its hands & as a result, eggs are more scarce than diamonds in a tramps pocket. Think about it for a moment.................if the Magic Kingdom is such a major supplier to the UAE & it doesn't have a problem with bird flu, why is there a drastic shortage? So I trawled the supermarkets in search for the elusive little buggers & thought I'd struck lucky when I saw a FHW with TWO TRAYS of them in his trolley, in a nearby supermarket. I'd been up & down the aisles & not seen any eggs, so naturally I asked where he'd 'found' them. "There are no more" states the Wobbler. The temptation to deck him-one-shot (as we say), swipe just one tray & pay for them as fast as possible nearly got the better of me. I think another customer saw the evil glint in my eye, as she also asked him where he got the eggs from. (For such a dainty little Filipina, she'd got a menacing tone to her voice!) I reckon he must have felt an imminent sense of danger, as he made his way to the cashier so fast he broke out in a sweat. I know, cos I was hot on his heels! I informed the LGHOL of my unsuccessful chukkyleg hunt when I returned home & forever the optimist, she said "Oh well, we don't use that many." A couple of hours later, she decided to have her little afternoon walkabout. Bugger me if she didn't come back with a dozen eggs, carried by an assistant from our friendly little 'corner shop'! One pitiful request from a little old grandma & she comes home loaded! (She can be hired out for shopping needs at a very expensive rate..............excluding fags & brandy!)
|
