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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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January 2006 . : On My Perch at Night, I'm Reading A Book On My Kindle: .
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. : motley assortment of blogs from other parts of the multiverse : .
. : MY FAMILY MOTTO: FUCK 'EM ALL EXCEPT US: .
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Template By Caz . : email: spadgesmum at gmail dot com .
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Wednesday, January 31, 2007S'AFRIKEN MENTALITY The South African government has had another sludgewave (as opposed to brainwave) with regard to smoking, and will attempt to push through even more anti-smoking laws. Two of these caught my attention:Smokers will not be able to light up (i.e. smoking will be against the law) within 5m of an entrance to a shopping mall, and Smokers will not be allowed to smoke in their own homes if they employ a maid/domestic worker who does not smoke. On the first point......er.....well.........smoking has been outlawed in shopping malls & public places etc. for a few years now. Restaurants are staunchly segregated into non-smoking & smoking areas. Whenever a smoker like me has been shopping, the first thing I do upon exiting sed mall, is light up a fag. Now it seems, I'll have to walk a bit further away from a mall entrance/exit. Oh well, no sweat - I don't mind doing that. On the second point, I do have a major problem. If it is MY property, I am entitled to smoke. If the property is rented & there is a clause stating the house is to be rented to non-smokers, then by all means I would respect that. BUT, as I've said, if the property is MY own, then I'm entitled to do as I wish. If I employ a maid/domestic worker, I will have to discriminate (don'tcha just love that word?) against a perfectly capable non-smoking person, who may (or may not) be desperately seeking employment. I wonder how many currently employed maids will find themselves unemployed should the government bulldoze this law through parliament? The Minister of health - Dokotela Manto Tshabalala-Msimang is the laughing stock of the civilised medical world, as she proclaims that HIV/AIDS can be cured by eating beetroot, garlic & potatoes. South Africa currently has the scary statistic of 11% of the population as being infected with HIV. It's OK to sodomise a 3wk old baby boy, rape anything that doesn't slither & chop up various family members because local sangomas inform the masses that it will appease the spirits & get rid of the nasty disease called AIDS, but God forbid you should light up a cigarette on your home turf. Dokotela Manto Tshabalala-Msimang needs to EDUCATE the people of SA. Educate people about HIV & AIDS. Educate people about DRUG abuse. Educate people about ALCOHOL abuse. Educate people about SEXUAL abuse. When you've done that you stupid woman, maybe, just maybe I'll pay a nanosecond of attention to your pathetic bloody anti-smoking laws. And on that note, I shall light up my Nth Gauloises Blonde of the day & I shall bloody well enjoy it!   
 The above statement is a favourite of my mums - Dubby Dear. If it rains, she complains the damp is not good for her old bones. If she becomes angry or frustrated, it's really not good for her old age. Well, bugger me if I haven't gone & inherited the above attitude from Dubs! (At this point Hubs is probably thing "oh shit, what else has she inherited!") This NEW version of Blogger has well & truly pissed on my battery, as I haven't been able to log in, in order to create a post. Maybe I didn't read their 'blurb of instructions/destructions' properly - I don't know. What I do know is that I have logged in, re-logged in & re-logged in again & AGAIN, only to get nowhere fast. It is NOT GOOD FOR MY OLD AGE! It's frustrating, to say the least. I didn't particularly want the 'new' version of Blogger, but after several attempts to log in to the old one & getting instantly redirected to the new version, I caved in & changed over. I've been sorely tempted to look for another means of blogging! Has anyone else had problems with this 'new' version, or am I just being a miserable old bat that doesn't understand computer technology?
Saturday, January 27, 2007IMPORTANT NOTICEIf you know any patient with Kidney failure who does not have the financial ability to secure medical care, please spread the following details: If you know a patient who is in need, let them contact the hospital at: Saad Specialist Hospital Dammam – AL Khobar Telephone 00966 3 8826666 extension 4444 Please spread this message to help save lives ! *Please note that I personally cannot vouch that this is 100% legitimate. An e-mail was forwarded to Hubs from: Safia Bari,Director,SNF Support Center.(Mobile: 050-6526484)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007NICE TO MEET YOU! I had to go to the South African Embassy here in Abu Dhabi this morning. I had paperwork that needed authenticating by the Commissioner of Oaths. My 10.30am appointment was not only on time, but one of the nicest hours I've ever spent with a diplomat from home. Ms Dintletse Ntombela, it was a pleasure to meet you & to also have a lovely chat about home. If ever there's a next time that we meet, I'll try & bring the Ouma rusks! To the fellow S'affies who were kept waiting, I offer my apologies. Time flies when you're having fun!
Monday, January 15, 2007A RATHER UNUSUAL STUDYIn 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00 they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. English scientists, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of £74.95, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
The sex was so good that even the neighbours had a cigarette I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them I used to have a handle on life, but it broke Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute! I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing **I'm just driving this way to piss you off** Out of my mind. Back in five minutes It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you I took an IQ test and the results were negative Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else **If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you** 1,000,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?? Jesus loves you, the rest of us think you're an idiot Forget world peace - visualize turning off your indicator! **HANG UP AND DRIVE!** Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I have the body of a God .......... Buddha This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me If we quit voting will they all go away? This bumper sticker exploits illiterates Eat right, exercise, die anyway I haven't lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit ** SPECIFICALLY AIMED AT U.A.E. DRIVERS!
Saturday, January 13, 2007WHEN HELL FREEZES OVERTHERMODYNAMICS FOR THE SOUL The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gascools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and deathrates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the vo lume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God". THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" With many thanks to 'The Big Wheel' (see the link over there ----->)
Tuesday, January 09, 2007LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIEFor Zarqa Nawaz, a hijab-wearing Muslim woman living in the Canadian prairies, life in the West has always provided certain conundrums. For example, is a woman obliged to cover herself in the presence of a gay man? Now Islam meets sitcom in a new Canadian show called Little Mosque on the Prairie. The show, the first of its genre to deal with the Muslim experience in North America since the September 11 terror attacks, begins on Tuesday. "It always struck me as hilarious. What if that man has no interest in you sexually, does he count?" said Nawaz, the show's creator. "You normally can't ask those questions out loud in your community because they think it's too out there, so this series is almost a form of therapy for me." Little Mosque's eight episodes unroll in the Saskatchewan town of Mercy, where life for its Muslim residents is centred on the mosque. In one episode, an imam warns his followers against the evils of television. "Desperate Housewives? Why should they be desperate when they're only performing their natural womanly duties?" he asks. A young woman in a headscarf whispers to her mother: "Did you tape last night's episode?" Making light of such issues in the aftermath of the 2001 attacks is a source of high anxiety for the show's producers, operating in the shadow of outrage around the world over a Danish cartoon deemed insulting to Muslims. But Nawaz (39), who was born in Liverpool, raised in Toronto and moved to Saskatchewan after her marriage, says she is constantly bemused by the issues of living as a Muslim in Western society. Should she allow her children to dress up for Halloween, although it's a pagan ritual? Is it OK to wear a conventional swimming costume to water aerobics if the male instructor is gay? In the show, the conflict is resolved by a woman donning a garment described as the "Haz-Mat Islamic swimsuit", covering her from neck to ankle. But in a country that saw the disruption of its own homegrown terror cell last year, the upheavals since September 11 2001 are not far from the surface. The sitcom's pilot shows a South Asian man in an airport queue talking on a phone to his mother about his decision to give up the law for a job at a mosque in the Canadian prairies. The decision is not suicide, he says. No, he is not throwing his life away. "This is Allah's plan for me." Moments later, a police officer claps his hand on the man's shoulder. "Step away from the bags, sir," he says. "You're not going to paradise today." Now that that's out of the way, Nawaz says the series hopes to focus on a life more ordinary. "The only thing we draw from 9/11 is the paranoia and the misunderstanding and mistrust of Muslims," she said. "Comedy comes out of the quirks and foibles of everyday life." This article appeared in the M&G Online Edition today. Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2006
Sunday, January 07, 2007KEWL NEW TOY!I dug out some (oldish) photos & played about with one of the designs available & look what the result is - ta da! I could play about with this for hours & would do, but it's time for my perch now.................n'nite....ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :-)
Friday, January 05, 2007L I L L Y M A I a.k.a. C H I K K E NWater Baby    The three pics (above) were taken whilst Shans & Chikkin were on holiday in South Africa.
Er........um.......confession time..........when Chikkin's mum & dad went to Dubai for the New Year, it just so happened that a yummy, sugar-coated jelly lollipop, in the shape of Santa (of course!) miraculously happened to find its way into Chikkins hands & mouth. I have no idea how it got there........honest...........but I do know Chikkin really enjoyed it!
Such a little girl & soooooooooooo much sand!
If pictures painted a thousand words, this one would conjure millions.  Check the face - pinched lips & mega attitude!
Grandad & Ouma's little angel. (her parents would disagree methinks)
 Stewie & Spadge climbed Tal Moreeb as a dare. Spadge had just finished a cigarette & like Stewie, admitted to not exactly being fit! They managed the climb, which Hubs filmed & then dubbed the music 'Chariots of Fire' to the film - absolutely brilliant!
This was a first-see for all of us. The owner of this amazing falcon turned out to be an archeologist from the museum in Al Ain. He was extremely patient with handing over his feathered killing machine (to a small group of gawking tourists) & was most informative, which made his impromptu display something quite memorable.
Spadge with best bud Stewie by Snoopy Island.
This pretty female took quite a shining to Stewie...........
 First time on a shisha pipe in public! Riviera restaurant (Abu Dhabi) do the most divine shisha - for Dhs12 it's a real bargain!
The following photos were taken by Stewie, whilst on holiday here with us. It's so nice to see the UAE through a the eyes of a first-time tourist. We've been & seen & got a heap of our own images, but there's always that 'little bit different........something' you catch when you see things again through someone elses vision.  Dunes, on the way to Liwa.
Looking down from Jebel Hafeet - cloud shadows leaving their own designs on the land.
The flagpole, by the Marina, Abu Dhabi.
Coming down, from Jebel Hafeet.
Port Zayed, Abu Dhabi.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007GRANDADS BABY GIRL   Grandad's baby girl is leaving in just a couple of hours. As I write, Chikkin is fast asleep in her cot, grabbing the precious time in the Land of Nod, before being taken to the airport. *Very Big Sigh* Her clothes are all packed, along with bottles & plugs. Her cot will become redundant after tonight. Ditto her car seat. Lilly Mai is leaving behind all the noise & chaos that only a 14mth old can create. She is leaving us with the most amazing memories of how clever she is (I'm allowed to brag!) & a whole heap of smiles & tears. We have the photos, which we will look at every day. The last thing I see at night is a picture of this baby & she is the first thing I see in the morning, when I open my computer. She is perfect. Grandad's heart is aching already. As is mine.
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