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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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Thursday, September 17, 2009SO HERE I AM..............Despite any rumours you may have heard, I have NOT dropped off the planet, although I must admit, in my current location it sometimes feels that I may have. Much has happened; tears have been shed, dummies spat, huge amounts of dosh are being spent - but I'm still glad we came home. The time was right & as the old saying goes, Timing Is Everything! First up, Hubs got his much longed for tattoo! I got in touch with Davide of Body Graphix in East London, told him we would be in town for one day only & asked if he could fit Hubs in. A couple of emails & stencil later & Davide had everything ready for Hubs appointment. After almost 5hrs, Hubs had reached his pain threshold, which was well timed, cos Davide had just finished! The result - one brilliant tattoo, since nicknamed 'Slobber Dawg'  Sadly, we could only bring one bike home with us, so my beloved Tallulah was sold to fellow Saffie Sjors. I hope he & his missus Selma have many years of comfortable & happy riding :-)  *sniff* bye bye Tallulah *sniff* Not all good things have to come to end though, cos my wonderful partner in life managed to track down a Harley dealer who is importing the new Harley TriGlide into South Africa. Yay gads, at the first available opportunity, he got hold of the dealer & told him he'd like to buy a TriGlide. No sooner said than done & as soon as time allowed, we nutted down to Clearwater Harley in Roodepoort & slapped down a hefty deposit. 
The inbreeders in this corner of the country won't know what's hit 'em! Which brings me on to where I am. Ahh, yes................I'm currently in a small town not far from the Botswana border. It's the kinda town where - until recently - people used to stop to fill up with fuel & perhaps a bite to eat & then carry on with their journey. It is not the kind of town you'd arrive in & declare "Wow - let's live here!". Anyone whoever uttered those words must've seriously been a right plonker. As it is, the town is in the grips of an identity crisis; some call it Ellisras & some call it Lephalale. It is a town where time stood still - possibly around 1975 - and it has now been dragged screaming into the current century. Upon the recent discovery of massive coal seams in the area, Ellisras/Lephalale has gone from sleepy hollow to wannabe throbbing metropolis almost overnight, only it's as if a couple of decades appear to have been lost along the way. A new power station is in the early stages of being built, which has meant many new businesses have sprung up to supply everything that is needed for the contractors. There is a large builders merchant and/or plant hire business on every street corner. Bottle stores are thriving, naturally. The town has grown to such an extent that the local municipality doesn't know where half of the new housing developments are. The favourite mode of dress is khaki, whether it be shorts, long pants, skirts or shirts - any shade of khaki will fit in nicely. Winter fashion is khaki coloured & the shops are now boasting their summer fashions in yep, you guessed it - khaki! It's easy to blend in with the surroundings, especially in the winter months, as everything is 'bush' coloured. I am so very sorely tempted to walk through town one day in my abaya & niqab! After witnessing & silently gasping in shock/horror at the sight of local females sporting back-combed hair, I was tempted to ask a friend 300km away to make an appointment with her hairdresser for me. I have since done a thorough recce of the town & adjoining town of Onverwaght (<-- it helps to have a glob of lung butter at the back of your throat when trying to pronounce this word) & have taken the extremely brave step of booking an appointment to have my locks cut & hi-lited on Saturday at a local & very modern looking salon. Stay tuned, I might have to wear my niqab yet! English is not spoken willingly here. The first language of the area is Afrikaans, as is the 2nd, 3rd & 4th choice of language. If you praat die taal (speak the language) you're well away. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to discover that Eugene Terreblanche has a strong following here. I have a sneaking suspicion that there are an awful lot of residents in this town that share the same surname. *coff* This is the type of town where you find various stuffed & mounted heads of wildlife on the walls of restaurants & guesthouses. It's big game hunting territory, which is fine - whatever floats your boat I s'pose - but I find it slightly disconcerting to have to eat my meal in a restaurant with the stuffed & mounted head of a massive kudu gazing forlornly at me. *shudder* Talking of wildlife - the first week of my stay here was in a local 'upmarket' 'game lodge'. Considering the establishment is smack bang in town & only has 4 skitterish impala buck darting about, it hardly constitutes a 'game lodge'! The following 'visitor' was less than 5m from our front door. I fuckin' loathe snakes & even though my sludge told me this one was dead, I stayed well back!  I think it was only a mole snake, which is harmless, but it didn't do much for nerves! I have no idea who clobbered it into the next life. After an agonisingly long week in the not-exactly-a-game lodge, we were given the keys to a newly built house. I whizzed around town & bought essential furniture which was to be delivered the following morning, a Saturday. We went to the house, only to discover that whenever a light or plug was turned on, the electricity would 'trip'. An electrician came out & 4hrs later, we had a reasonably safe supply of electricity. A toilet in the main-en-suite developed a leak & within an hour, water had flooded through into about 50% of the main bedroom. A plumber was called out. He fixed the problem. Less than 2hrs later, another problem with the same fucking toilet became evident & as there was no stop-tap on the loo, Hubs had to shut off the mains water supply. He checked the loo out, saw what the problem was & fixed it. Unfortunately, the bedroom got yet another soaking & within 48hrs, it started to smell................correction - it bloody hummed. It was a vile smell & I hate to think what was in that carpet to make it stink so badly - yuk! I'm not a snob (really!) cos I don't spell fuck with a ph, but the arrival of a couple of the 1-2-3- Brigade (1ltr Brandy, 2ltr Coke & 3ltr car) in the complex made me even more uncomfortable. One lot had their vast assortment of garden gnomes on proud display within hours of moving in. Not just a few mind you - there were dozens of the ceramic retards in strategic positions in the garden. One problem after another surfaced with that poxy house. I swear it wasn't built - it was thrown up. The wiring/electrical contractor was obviously blind & couldn't do the work, so his guide dog must've wired the place. The plumbing contractor cut so many corners, I'm surprised he actually left taps fitted & not just pipes sticking out of the wall. It later transpired that the local electrical contractor had subbed the work out to some cowboy from a town several hundred kilometres away. Not my problem - it's his & his responsibilty, which is now costing him dearly, as he's having to fix many, many cock-ups. One crappy thing after another went wrong - mainly with the electricity - so we were asked to suss out another new house, in a different part of town.
We came to the complex, checked out a couple of houses & made the decision to move, as fast as possible! We're now in a lovely house, which was built by competent builders! I have a very new & bare but much-longed for garden. I'm not sure if this is my 38th or 39th house move - but one thing I do know is that moving house twice in 2 weeks is a record for us! Hubs & I were the first people to move into the complex & I reckon we'll be quite content here...............it's only for a couple of years, which isn't very long if you say it quickly. So, here I am.................. P.S. Sincere thanks to fab friends D&D for all their help & especially for always having an opening for us in their wonderful hotel :-) Fellow (read fabulous) blogger Jimmy - he of Jimmy The Bastard fame - suffered a stroke last Friday. Like many others who take great pleasure in reading Jimmys blog, I'm wishing him a full & speedy recovery. Get well soon darlin' & I'm sure your lovely wife Siobhan will record Celtic's matches for you! Much strength to you both xoxoxox Labels: Afrikaans in NOT the only official language, Clearwater Harley, dawg tattoo, Eishkom, Ellisras in a time warp, I fuckin hate snakes, Medupi Power Station  
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