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JAYNE WITH A WHY |
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Sunday, February 08, 2009SNOT FUNNY The other day I was in a taxi, on my way to Abu Dhabi Mall. The taxi driver initially bitched about having to go there, which I'm taking for granted is normal nowadays. The constant whine of "too much traffic!" from taxi drivers does my 'ead in.................like the whole friggin city ain't full of block-to-block traffic 22hrs a day??? Once the taxi driver realised he didn't have an audience to his bleating, I settled back into a favourite pasttime - people watching. . As usual, for every totally blacked out windowed vehicle I passed, I wondered why nothing had been done. It seems blatantly obvious that there's definitely 2 laws regarding window tinting - one law for those with wasta & one for those who don't have wasta. I had my silent bitch, which normally consists of wishing evil things to the dipshits who can see no further than 6" in front of the dashboard & continued my 'watching'. . Despite very clear signalling, way too many pedestrians choose to play chicken with cars when it comes to robots (traffic lights). It's amazing how many people think they're invincible, whereas in the real world, they're nothing more than fucking idiots. . . Something I did happen to see that day, on my way to the dreaded mall ("too much traffic!" wobble wobble "too much traffic!") was a bloke in a car, which was pulled alongside my taxi at a busy intersection. This bloke spent the following 2-3mins trying to get all the bats out of his dual caves. He dug away in the one cave, inspected his findings, checked his nose in the wing mirror & then flicked the offending contents off of the end of his finger. Ahhhh...........right............well, I s'pose we're all guilty of the odd 'digging for gold' moment. It's just that this oke, after digging out the crud from one cave, swiftly shifted his finger & attention to the other cave & boy, did he come up with gold! It took a couple of attempts, but he appeared very determined to get the offending long, wet & green chunk of snot from the absolute depths of his nostril. I KNOW it was long, wet & green, 'cos I saw it way too clearly for my liking! He dangled his 'prize' off of the end of a digit, looked at it for a moment & then tried to shake it off..................... . . It wouldn't budge. . . It was a real wet snollie & stuck like shit to a blanket. . He flicked his finger first & then shook his hand, but the offending snollie merely spread with the effort & refused to be removed by physical jerking. Realising that he was fighting a losing battle, he held his arm out of the car window, checked his rearview mirror to see if the cave was clear & then took off as soon as the lights changed...........................flick, flick, flick.......................... . So if you happened to find a considerable chunk of snot splattered across your car last week, it was probably courtesy of the above driver.  
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